59 (Her Mail)

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OPEN THIS!!!
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Treisus Scyllo,

I can't believe I'm literally pulling a Jo March on you right now. However, not for the same reason as hers. Because I am writing this letter to help gain a sense of peace, and closure, and to move forward from these strange feelings I have for you.

I didn't see you coming. Having only known the exteriors of a relationship I always see around, I did not have many expectations for dating and was quite content being single and on my own. I told you that many times when we were together, that dating and love nowadays seem so mediocre I want no part of it. But then, you came out of nowhere, and before I knew it, I was hooked, and the overwhelming feelings I feel for you hit me like a ton of bricks.

The ways in which we were connected were anything but a coincidence. I think that's one of the reasons I fell for you - our connection. We shared a couple of the same exact things and in such a short time, we quickly became a big part of each other's lives. I don't know when did I fell for you. If it's those after-class dinners, little art sessions, FaceTime calls, unplanned trips, or sneaky makeout sessions. I don't know.

I heard you last night, by the way. In the kitchen. Acquainted... that's what we are according to you. I've been planning to tell you about my feelings for you, you know? I planned to tell you about it that night until I heard it. To be honest, I don't know what to feel. I was feeling a mixture of everything.

Kasi tangina, paano'ng wala lang 'yon?Halos araw-araw mo akong kasama, kausap at katawagan, sinasabi mong nami-miss mo ako, masaya ka kapag kasama mo ako, dinala at pinakilala mo pa ako sa pamilya mo, tapos sasabihin mong wala lang 'yon?

That's what my madness screamed.

And then the other emotions fell with the tears.

You're so damn wrong for making me hope for us. I don't wanna blame you right now but goddamn it, Tres, you don't get to act like that to anyone and expect them not to hope. I also kind of blame myself for letting whatever we have go on despite knowing na walang patutunguhan ito.

I want to be patient with you. I want wait for you. I wanted so badly for you to be ready. But I don't think I'm capable of that. Ayaw kong sisihin ka na nagsayang ako ng panahon antayin dumating ang oras na handa ka na, pero hindi para sa'kin.

So, please, I'm asking you a favor. Don't text me, call me, reach out to me, and go near me. Let me bury these feelings first because I know for a fact that if we continue being... acquainted, it will be deeper, and if that happens, I'll be totally doomed. I'll come to you in time, for now, let's just be content smiling at each other.

Just know that I am so glad we're acquainted :)


-Faustine A.R

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