☀️She's Extraordinary ☀️

Trying To Understand

Tuesday, Nov. 7th (Avenues: The World School) (Bella's Perspective)
"Have you guys seen Clara?" Leah asked Paisley and I.
"No, why?" She pulled out her phone frantically and showed me.

Clara: Don't look for me. I mean it.
Clara: I deserve to be alone.

"Do you guys know if she came to school?"
"Yeah we saw her in the bathroom and she was really upset."
"I think I know where she is. Stay here." I've kind of been having a tough morning of my own. Jake's been weird these past two days. I'm really worried that I did something wrong, but I know I didn't say anything. I kept checking our messages as I looked for Clare.

Bella: why are you angry at me? Did I do something?
*read at 12:03 AM*

Clara and I like to hang out at the furthest end of the school near the roof sometimes. She's probably there. Luckily, French class isn't super far away. I walked up the 2 flights of stairs to the top floor. I went over to the big glass windows.
"Clara?"
"I don't know why they sent you here, I didn't want to be found." I guess I see what it's like to deal with myself when I'm upset.
"Because we care." There was mascara running down her face.
"What happened?" I noticed a red mark on her arm.
"Nothing, okay."
"You're not being honest."
"I said nothing happened."
"I've been where you've been before. Denying that anything happened, pushing people away. It isn't healthy."
"Bella, you're literally perfect. You have the perfect boyfriend, you're on the perfect dance team, you're liked by everyone, and your family is awesome to you. You're perfect, so you don't know what you're talking about." She snapped. That stings. My life is anything but perfect and if it seems that way then that means that I'm doing a great job at covering things up.
"My life isn't perfect, Clara. Ask any of our friends." I wiped my eyes.
"Well, I can't tell you what happened okay."
"I'm not going to judge you."
"No, I mean I can't." Secrets.
"If someone's hurting you-"
"I'm not being hurt. Just forget that I said that."
"I want to believe you but Clara-"
"Just leave it alone. We have class." She grabbed her bag and stormed off. Great, now I have two people angry at me.
*********************
Brooklyn-Bridge City Hall (Lower Manhattan) (Olivia's Perspective)
"You've asked to meet here....why?" We walked past the courthouse and over to a cart where Elliot got two coffees and a donut.
"If we're serious about having another child we need to get ahead of it." He handed me a cup of coffee and the donut.
"You want some?"
"Nope enjoy it, Bella made some incredible omelets this morning. I wish you were there to see it." I smiled tenderly. If I miss little moments like these, how can we be so sure that I'd be there for the little one?
"I-I didn't realize you were so serious about it."
"Are you not serious about it too, Liv?" He asked.
"I am, but we talked about it once over the weekend... I just feel like this is a lot at once, El." He paused.
"I hear you. But can I just ask you one question?"
"What?"
"Do you want to have a biological child or would you like to adopt again?"
"Is that a serious question?" I asked sarcastically.
"I'm being very serious."
"I think the likelihood of that ever happening is low."
"You're still releasing eggs."
"Scrambled ones." We both laughed and Elliot tucked my hair behind my ear.
"Think about it." I nodded.
"But just in case...I think we should give Langan a call. He was great with Noah and Bella. I'm sure he'll do great this time around. Plus, he owes me one." Elliot nodded.
"Do you have some more time before you have to head back to the precinct?"
"Maybe."
*************
West 75th Street (2:15 PM) (Jake's Perspective)
"J, can you wait a sec?" Bella sped up.
"What?"
"Do you want to go split a milkshake? I know that you haven't been feeling good and I know how much you love a chocolate milkshake."
"My god, no. I don't have time to waste my money on a dumbass milkshake. Jesus Christ, is it always treats with you?"
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you angrier...I just wanted to get a chance to talk to you and know what's up. You've been really upset lately. If I'm annoying you that much you could've just told me that." Her eyes got glassy.
"Bella, wait I'm sorry-" I grabbed her hand.
"Let go of me, Jacob." She went back inside the school building. Part of me wanted to run in there after her, but I couldn't bring myself to. I just kept walking.
"Dude, what the hell?" Paxton said.
"What?"
"What do you mean, what? Why are you being so mean to her."
"This is none of your business, man. Don't you have football practice?"
"This is my business. Bella's been my friend since first grade and I can tell when she's upset. You're hurting her with whatever the hell this is. If you're mad at her tell her, if you need a break tell her because this isn't fair to her bro. I'm not gonna stand here and let you get her."
"Stay out of our business, Pax."
^^^^^^^^^^
Lenox Hill Hospital (Park Ave. & 77th Street)
"Dad?"
"Jake, you made it!" He sat up.
"Dad, it's okay you don't have to move."
"It's fine. How was school?"
"It was great. What did the doctors say?" I asked him and Mom.
"Let's wait for your sister before we get into that." Mom said quietly. It isn't good news, is it?
"Let's just focus on that when the time comes my boy, what happened at school?" Mom gave me a look that told me to drop it.
"In Mastery we're working on public speaking so very soon I'm going to be doing a presentation at a local church...so I've been prepping for that. Math is easy, English too. History as well. I guess that's it for my classes." He smiled and held my hand tightly.
"And how's everything going with Bella?"
"Oh everything's-"
"I'm here, sorry to interrupt." Kenzie said with a small smile.
"You didn't interrupt anything." It was very quiet now.
"I think it's time for us all to talk." Mom asked for Dad's doctor to come in. This isn't good.
**************
UES Youth Dance (6:38 PM) (Bella's Perspective)
"Good job today girls! I suspect you guys will be ready for our competition in December. Get home safe." We all said our goodbyes and I went to go change. Today was pretty draining between Jake and Clara, and then writing club and dance.
"Are you okay, Bell?" Paisley asked. We've gotten much closer these days.
"No, I mean I wish that I can say I am, but I'm not."
"Why do you say that?"
"For starters, my boyfriend hates me, and now Clara is being distant from us... Plus she hurt my feelings with something that she said this morning." I said while slipping on my jacket.
"What'd she say?" Paisley asked supportively. We left the building.
"I won't tell anyone."
"I know you won't." I stopped talking.
"You know, you're upset with them for not communicating but you're doing the same thing." She noted. Paisley has always been so wise, sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it, and right about now I hated it.
"I'll call you and tell you later, I just don't want to repeat it right now because I'll end up crying again."
^^^^^^^^
Home (7:02 PM)
"Woof, woof!" Ryan and Ace jumped up and gave me kisses which is exactly what I needed after today.
"Sweet boys. Did you miss me?" I started to cry again.
"Bella, you're home!"
"Hey Bell, how was your day? We just finished making bolognese." Lucy said. Leia ran over.
"Horrible."
"Wait, don't cry Bella! No cry." She hugged and kissed me.
"Please don't cry." Leia said.
"Honey, do you want to talk about it?" Lucy asked as I walked upstairs. I went to my bedroom and slammed the door shut.
********************
Bella's Bedroom (12 AM) (Noah's Perspective)
"I can hear you through the wall. What's up?"
"Get out of my room, Noah."
"You can push Lucy away, but you definitely can't push me away. I'm not going anywhere." She wiped her eyes.
"You're my little sister, and I know that I'm kinda busy with my own life but I'll always be here for you."
"It's a lot to explain."
"Excuses." Bella rolled her eyes.
"Just don't tell Mom or Dad. I don't want them in my business."
"When have I ever been a snitch?"
"When you told Mom that I was the one that ruined her carpet."
"You're never gonna let that go." She shook her head.
"Stop stalling, what's going on with you?"
"I don't want you to hate him...but Jake's been awful to me lately, like he just changed. He was fine on Friday and Saturday but then his mood completely changed and he started shoving me away and being so mean. I feel like I did something wrong and it's making me worry." I hugged Bella.
"Did you do something?"
"No, I didn't. We were getting along just fine."
"Usually when people act like that, it's because something else is going on. Most times you're not the problem."
"Has Morgan been like this?" He nodded.
"Give him some space, he'll probably talk to you on his own. If not, you try talking to him. Because if you truly care...you'll fight to understand what's going on and figure out how to help." Bella nodded.
"That's kind of how you are when you're upset, you push everyone away, but when you get a chance to cool off, you talk." She stayed quiet.
"You're right. But the words still hurt, you know. Clara telling me that I'll never understand her because my life is perfect. Jake saying that all I care about is wasting money on food. Doesn't make it hurt any less."

To be continued~