Bella's officially graduated middle school. After 3 years of ups and downs will high school prove to be the "best four years of her life" or will it be her most challenging time? Leia's getting older and beginning to form new thoughts, experiences...
Friday, June 28th (East 68th Street) (Olivia's Perspective) "It's been a while since we last met." Dr. Lindstrom said with a weak smile. "I know, I'm sorry. I've been so caught up with work lately, we've been investigating a really big case, and when I get the chance I try to be with the kids." "Don't be sorry for that." I smiled. "So, what'd you like to talk about?" My therapist asked. "Well, later today I'm going to go with the kids and Elliot to see my half-sister and I'm quite nervous. I've met her several times, but the kids haven't and I don't know how they'll react." "Your kids know about Simon, right?" I nodded. "Yeah...and that ended...badly so to speak. I don't want to get their hopes up about new family and disappoint them or have them feeling sad in any way." I said while tearing up. "Do you think that these feelings are purely about Simon or have something to do with your family going through the adoption process once again as well?" I've never considered that.
Flashback* "Bella, why are you crying? What's wrong my angel?" I sat my 11-year-old daughter in my lap and pulled her curly hair from her face. "I don't want you or El to forget about me. Because Leia's here and she's my half-sister and she's littler than me." She cried. "You're gonna like her best." She mumbled. "Bella, I don't like anyone best. I love your brother, you, and Leia the same." "But you don't hang out with me anymore, only Leia. I wanted to show you my new piece on the piano and you wouldn't listen to me, Mommy." End of Flashback
"Possibly? I mean...I worry a lot because my kids all have traumatic pasts, so I never know how certain events will affect them." "What have the kids said about Lisa?" "They said that they're happy for me, but I don't always believe that. My kids tend to...hide things from me. Not that it's their fault, but they feel the need to." "That must hurt as a parent, doesn't it?" "It does, but it's not their fault." ^^^^^^^^^^^^ Lisa's House (49 West 95th Street) (7:45 PM) "Okay, guys, manners." "Mom, it's okay, we got this!" Leia said. I could tell she was nervous though, as she was holding onto me tightly. "Liv!" Lisa opened the door with a smile. "Lise! You look stunning! This is my son, Noah, my daughter Bella, and my youngest Leia!" "Hi!" The kids said in unison. "Guys come, your Aunt Livy is here!" Her kids. walked over shyly. "These are my eldest, Emilia and Emmett. This is my youngest Isla!" They told us hello. "I'm sorry that my husband can't join, he got caught up at work." I explained. "No worries, so did mine." We smiled. "Kids, why don't you go to the basement and hang out?" "Mommy, can I bring Leia to my room?" "Of course!" **************** Isla's Bedroom (Leia's Perspective)
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"Woah..your room's really pretty." "Thanks. It was really messy but my Mom made me clean it." We both giggled. "My room gets messy all the time, my Mom has to yell at me a lot to clean it." I said while blushing. "Mommies always want everything super clean but nothing's wrong with just a little mess!" "Plus, boys are even more messy. My brother's room is so gross." Isla seems nice. It's weird to think that we're cousins though. I hope that we get to stay cousins. "Hey, do you like Polly the Purple Fairy?" "Yes! It's my favorite!" We sat and talked about Polly for like 10 years! I hope that we get to stay cousins. A while ago Mommy said that we had an Uncle Simon...but he passed away. What if something bad happens? ******************* The Basement (8:35 PM) (Noah's Perspective) Emmett and Emilia are pretty cool. It feels nice to have some family on Mom's side considering everything. It's gonna be a lot to get used to though, for all of us. "So um, what kind of shows do you guys like to watch?" Bella asked. I think getting to know them will be pretty easy since we're all pretty outgoing, but I can't help but think... "I like watching Criminal Minds." Emilia said. "Oo, me too!" "I feel like girls just instantly like that show. That and Grey's." Emmett said. "For real, I think it's a bit basic." I joked. Emilia smiled. "And you boys just like Dragon Ball Z." "And One Piece. Don't forget that one." We spent minutes jokingly bashing each other for our choices in tv shows. It was awesome. I can't help but think though, with my mom finding her bio sister and everything, and Leia who's Bella's biological sister too, if I have any family that I don't know about. Everyone seems to know about their family, but I don't. "Noah, look!" *************** Monday, July 1st (Brandy Melville, SOHO) (Bella's Perspective) "This is so cute Bells! You should get it." "I-I don't know, isn't it too revealing?" I asked while holding the top against my body. "The less the better!" In over a week, my family and I are going to Italy! So...I wanted to shop for some cute things to wear, all of my other friends were already on their vacations in Europe, so I was here with Cicely. "No, no you're right!" We giggled and looked for a changing room. "It's so weird that we're out of school like we're going to be sophomores." "I swear the first day was the other day." "And everyone has changed-" "A lot." We all have our own lives now with boyfriends and stuff. It's weird to think about. Actually, everything is weird these days.
Mom: Bella don't spend too much money today.... Me: Mom seriously?!? 🙄 Mom: don't give me an attitude young lady
"Bells that's totally a fit. Get it!!" Cicely said with a big grin. ^^^^^^^^^^^^ Central Park (6:23 PM) "You're a good boy Acey." After shopping with Ci I felt weird. When I have these moments, I try to do some self-care and let myself feel the feelings. I do some mindfulness techniques too. One of them is focusing on my breathing. I close my eyes and take deep breaths..I let them..consume me. I focus on the sensations and they calm me.
In... And out... In... And out...
I opened my eyes. I'm afraid of growing up. I'm afraid of change. What it'll mean for me, for my family, my friends, for me and Jake. And that's okay. But I shouldn't worry about what hasn't happened yet, and I certainly can't change what's happened in the past. And that's okay too.
Ace licked my palm and tapped my arm. "You wanna go play, don't you?" "Woof!" "Alright! Fetch!" He ran excitedly. I gotta enjoy the moment. ******************* Home (1065 5th Ave.) (Olivia's Perspective) "How's this?" Packing for a trip in the Benson-Stabler house is always stressful, but this time around it's worse. Traveling internationally always makes my head spin. "That's good, and pack your salmon dress shirt too, I want us all to match at dinner." "Mom, I really don't wanna wear a pink shirt." Noah said. "It's not pink...it'ssalmon. Now go find it." Noah sighed and walked off. "Leia, did you put on the dress?!" Leia walked out of my bathroom slowly. "Oh my word, you look so pretty!" Leia had her arms folded. "I don't like this dress, Mommy." "Why not?" "It's too long and I look like an old lady." "So you don't wanna match with me?" I asked sadly. "I do, but I like short dresses, can we wear the blue dress instead?" I sighed. I wasn't in the mood for a battle. "Okay, go try on the other one." Leia left quickly and Noah came back. "Hey bud, lemme see your suitcase." He rolled it in and I inspected the clothes. "Mom?" "Mhm?" "Can we talk?" I looked up. "What about?" "Uhh.." "Mama, I'm done packing." I heard Bella say. "Alright, good sweet pea! I'll check in with you in a minute." Noah looked a bit worried. "Let's go out on the terrace, sweet boy." ^^^^^^^^ "Do you know anything about my family?" Noah asked. I knew this question would come someday, but I was never really prepared for it. "Like, if I have an uncle or a brother or a sister? Bella has Leia, you have Uncle Simon and Aunt Lisa. But...who do I have?" "Noah..." He turned away. "Noah..how long have you felt like this?" "Too long. I just, I want to meet my real family." I started to tear up. "I love you guys but...part of me just needs to know. Please." He begged. I struggled for a moment to find the words. "Your father...Johnny Drake, as I told you before-" "Was a trafficker." "Yes, and a serial rapist." I said. I really didn't want to have this conversation with my son, I really didn't. I held Noah's hands. "Meaning that there are probably several women that got impregnated by him. We can have you do a DNA test and look for matches, see if anything pops up in terms of siblings." "Is it the same thing for other family members too?" I nodded. "This conversation is making me feel queasy." He noted. "I know, it's a lot but we can work through it together. Me and Elliot will be here every step of the way. You don't need to go through this alone." "N-Not that. I mean the fact that my Dad...I mean my biological father hurt all those people. What if I end up like him?" He asked. "Noah, don't say that sweetie. You're nothing like that. You are respectful, and kind, so caring. I see how you are with Morgan, your sisters and brothers, your friends. You're a reflection of how I raised you. Nurture over nature, Noah." "Nurture over nature." "Yes. Noah, how do you feel about therapy, you know talking to someone about these feelings?" "I never thought about it, but I see how it's helped you and Bell and Lei." "Would you like me to help you find someone?" "I wanna think about it." "Take your time." We walked back inside. "I love you Noah, very much. I want what's best for you." "I know Mom, love you too." Leia came out of the bathroom in her blue dress. "I love this one, Mama." "Okay, you can wear it pumpkin. Bell, can you come here quickly? I got us this matching dress. I'll take a look at your other stuff too!" Packing's stressful, but if we didn't pack tonight, I wouldn't have learned about what Noah was feeling. I feel terrible, that he held in for so long. I wonder what I could do to be a better mother to my lovely kiddos.
To be continued~
A/N: Some things said in this chapter will manifest into something later....
