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I GAVE UP.
Trying to be somewhere you're not is never gonna work out, trying to fit in with society's standards is never gonna make you happy. I just learned it the hard way, the everyday clothing I wore was tight and fitting. The dirty hand of boys 'innocently' roam around my body. I told myself before I made this choice, is this really what you want Valentine? And I lied to myself and said yes, I did drive, I had sex, I sinned with a smile on my face. I was playing in the devil's playground, I was a puppet to the demons in the shadows who taunted me.
Salty tears ran down my freckled cheeks, the low sobs echoing in the white walls of my darkroom.
Do you remember Ash?
Yeah, he posted the video.
Scrolling on Twitter I repeated it over and over again, I saw my dress, my hair, my ears, everything except my face. Some people would not make a big deal up this because, well, you're anonymous. But the person who posted this had power, in one sentence they could expose you, make ME known as a slut, whore, attention seeker. A homewrecker, since he suddenly had a girlfriend at that party.
I don't know what to do. It's all my fault, why did I let myself get so comfortable with a stranger? Why Valentine, why did you fucking do it, WHY? This is what I get, Jasmine was right, my dumb sister was right.
And even worse, it was getting views. Half of the city's population sees it. Which meant that Fezco probably saw it, he saw me wear that dress. What would he think of me now?
With shaky hands I grabbed my phone, the only person at the moment I could trust was Lexi. Rue was my friend but, what if she told Jules. And knowing Jules she kinda had a big mouth, and we have been distancing so that bond that we had at the party thinned by day. Pressing the girl's number, her contact photo an image of the two of us in the bathroom posing.
The phone rang, the girl answering in a matter of seconds. "Lexi?" I choked out, wiping my cheek with a broken nail.
"Yeah?" Her voice was foggy, sounding like she was in the car from the music in the background.
"I need you to come over, please like right now?"
"Why?" And that's when I broke, my throat aching from the sob I let out. It was almost painful to let out the reason why I needed her to come over, it was embarrassing. Shameful, but I felt comfortable enough to talk about it to Lexi. Not answering the question, in case she was on speaker. "Mom I need you to turn around, like right now." She demanded with a soft tone, raising the phone back to her ear.
