Wild Flower--BANGTAN

𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭(5)

Throwing her head back Nona relaxed her whole body while listening to the calm music, doctor Kim played for her to calm down.

It helped a lot as she stopped crying and fall back on the chair.

"Honey, now we will talk bout what is really going on okay"

Nona slowly nodded her head as she was in a state of half-consciousness.

"Why are you so stressed these days? What is making you feel so bad that you are not able to tell others bout it?"

"A few months back I read an article about me and the boys. It said that I was ruining their image by dating one of the members. It was a short article but disturbed me a lot. I didn't let it affect me at that time. A few days later, there was a rumour about me going out with some other idol. This became a big issue, but the company denied the rumours. Even then in an interview, taehyung was humiliated when the interviewer bought up the issue. I still remember he was so sad when he came home that day."

Tears rolled down Nona's eyes as she looked at the doctor with half-lidded eyes.

"I felt very guilty doctor. I wanted to make things right. Some days later I had to go to the hospital. I was having trouble with breathing and my period cramps were excruciatingly painful. I didn't want the boys to worry, so I didn't tell them."

"Someone then posted a picture of me coming out of the gynaecologist clinic, rumour spread that I was pregnant. When the boys heard it they questioned me and I was feeling so ashamed. I felt as of they were interrogating me. They trusted the rumours, and I felt angry.  I denied it was me and they trusted me. But Jimin found my reports while he was in my studio. He didn't read them but he knew I lied to them. That was the first strike"

"After that things just started going downhill. Rumours upon rumours kept on coming out and I had no idea how to deal with them. If that was not enough people went so low that they started making comparisons, saying that taehyung deserves better, the boys deserved better."

"I couldn't get that out of my mind. I was going down a deep dark hole day by day not knowing a way out of it. The fights and arguments kept on increasing to the point I stopped giving explanations. Then there was this collaboration I was working on, which led to more rumours. It went to the point where Tae wouldn't even listen to me. It pissed me, doctor, I wanted him to be beside me instead he was arguing with me."

By now Nona was weeping out tears of pain but kept on speaking "I thought he'll leave me and I couldn't afford that. So I started staying away from all of them to avoid any fights. I locked myself in my studio for hours drowning in its darkness. I needed a way out of all this so I started doing things which I shouldn't have. I ruined myself. I let them ruin me. I don't know how to make things right anymore. It went so bad that I started having bad thoughts, and I knew it was going to get worse."

When she said that doctor Kim understood what she was referring to.  She didn't want to say it out loud but she felt bad for the young girl.

"I started talking to my old psychiatrist to keep me in line. I was losing a grip on my sanity. It was back to those days when I was scared to even walk down the street or even talk to someone. I didn't wanna harm myself, doctor, it causes pain to others. I didn't want them to be hurt because of me."

"Nona is there something you did which is harming you and you shouldn't have done" doctor Kim questioned in a calm voice.

"I wanted to look better so that people start accepting me for tae. I wanted to be the perfect girl"

"Do you skip meals?"

"I don't. Jin Oppa wouldn't let me"

"Then what would you do?" The lady asked carefully.

"I take weight-reducing pills and I have been vomiting out my food after eating it" Nona cried out thinking out how bad it sounds "I know it sounds pathetic, please don't be disgusted by me doctor"

Doctor Kim stood up again this time sitting on the chair closer to the little girl. She pulled her in a hug and caressed her head. It was unimaginable for her to know how much pain and hurt this 23-year-old girl was going through.

"I'll never be disgusted my you nona. You are the most beautiful person I have seen, not only from the outside but inside too. Your heart is pure as gold, it's pathetic how people have let you down. You are the strongest do you know that? Going through so much but not losing that smile"

Nona cried on the shoulder of the older lady as she spoke those soothing words. After a while, as she calmed down, Kim stood up and walked toward her table.

"Can we take some blood of yours, Nona? If you don't mind, ofc"

Nona wiping away the last few drops of tears on her face nodded "sure"

The doctor called for a nurse to draw out her blood. After that, she gave her a calming drug which made her fall asleep on the armchair. Before covering her body with the blanket she took a look at the body of the young girl. It made the older lady feel terrible.

She came out of the room after dimming the lights in there so that Nona could sleep peacefully.

She entered the other room where a few people have gathered around, half of them either shocked or had tear stricken faces. The Bangtan boys heard every word that went down in that room, with bang PD and Jaejung.

In the corner of the room, Taehyung was sitting with his head hanging low. He couldn't comprehend how he was feeling. On the other side, Yoongi was holding a crying Jimin in a hug as the younger was weeping on his shoulders. Hoseok was patting Jungkooks head, both of them had red eyes. They were shocked and felt terrible. Jin and Namjoon stood on one side thinking back to when things went so wrong.

All of them were in grief. They couldn't help but feel guilty that they couldn't protect the one girl, who they promised to protect. They were feeling terrible that they hurt the person who never had any bad intentions towards them, but only had their best interest of them in her mind.