These are the first two pages of the quotes on the Google Doc my friends and I have made to collect funny quotes we hear. Each person may ask for the context of one quote and one quote only. I may do more of these in the future.
"I really want to take a video of an explosion, take away the sound, and add the pop sound effect on. Like a cartoon pop sound. I don't know why" - a conversation overheard in the girls' bathroom by the cafeteria
It's a flail - Keaton, holding Richard's key chain
I HAVE UNLOCKED YOUR CAR - Keaton, holding up Richard's car keys
My car is like fifty miles away - Richard
I HAVE UNLOCKED IT - Keaton again
My car is in Vinton! - Richard
Me: Son of a- *cuts self off*
Someone in the back of the room: *whispers* bitch
*two girls high five* Ow! That hurt!
Three girls stubbornly defending a piece of wood they found and telling very contradicting stories to the teacher who's trying to make sure they haven't stolen it. And then they started arguing over who would take it home, and once they decided who would the other two started bowing to it.
A kid in Chemistry: "Can we make meth?"
"Why you zoom, tall man?" -Peyton, 2022
"Can't have child labor if there's no children"
"Do you want to get hit by a car?"
"If an avocado is a fruit in the berry family, does that mean guacamole is a jam?"
"I'm returning the salt because I no longer wish to be shamed for my inability to do math."
"Mmm asphyxiation."
"You need your body accordion!"
"See how I didn't bite the paper?"
"Reginald the butterfly."
"Give me my arm back."
*sticks receipt on Peyton's face* "You're paid for."
"PB&J with a side of Epipens" -my friend that's allergic to bread
"The guy that made coco puffs was a Nazi?!?"
"Jesus is a clothing line?"
"BUT HE'S WHITE"
"He's an old, wise chicken nugget."
"We stan bad guy Scott."
"You're running out of vroom energy."
*whispers* "chikn nugit"
"I love stealing unborn children with my shiny chicken nugget."
"Fossilized chicken nuggets are my favorite."
"It sounds like childbirth up in here."
"I want gummy...feet"
"Go and do some stalking."
"Shut up you perverts!"
"I've had sex with a cat before"
"Steal the non-existent cat."
"I think we traumatized Sarah with a shark and a unicorn making out."
YOU ARE READING
Kotah's Book of Chaos
FanfictionSuffer A book of oneshot, chaos, drabbles, incorrect quotes, and general bullshit May be updated every day for a week and then forgotten about for two months. Deal with it
