Flaws of Stars

Chapter 6

[pov Timothée]

I pushed the exit door without looking at the reaction of others. Outside, the air was fresh and as soon as the door closed, the silence struck me. Night had fallen. I breathed in, then noticed Lou, standing against the wall, was looking at me. She had wet cheeks. I realized I had no idea what to say.

« I should go inside, I thought. Why did I follow her instead of letting her be alone for a moment? That's what she wished for, didn't she? »

But now that I was here, what could I say? I wasn't gonna ask her if she was okay, it's obvious she wasn't.

- Do you need help? I asked impulsively.

She was still giving me a piercing look, unable to say a word and completely shocked by the fact that I was standing here.

- I wanted to make sure you were okay, but it would've been stupid to ask, I explained.

She came back to her senses.

- Oh! That's... Really nice, thank you.

She lowered her eyes, calmer. But still, there was much pain in her eyes.

- I... I'm sorry that I left so quickly.

I sat against the wall next to her.

- It's okay, I've been through that too.

She looked at me again, surprised. I could see she hesitated to say a word.

- Did you... Got anxiety because of people?

I nodded.

- It's... Something I'm still working on, I admitted.

She didn't add a word.

- It... It can be hard to be surrounded by so many people that you can't recognize any of them anymore. To hear your name so many times you don't even know who you are... Sometimes, it can lead you to dark thoughts.

- Yes... I try not to think about any of it, but... Even though I love being recognized for what I do, sometimes I just feel... Assaulted by their vision of me. I always feel them judging me.

Her eyes still lowered, she slid down to sit next to me. Around us, the yellow lights of the city seemed like little dots on every corner of the street.

- The only thing you can do is go somewhere calm and try to clean your mind... You did the right thing to come here.

She didn't talk for a few seconds and I felt her melancholic aura again.

- Did you come here to feel safer too?

- I guess so. I also came to... Look after you. Because I already felt this way and I know how harsh it can feel.

She tried to swallow what I was saying, the lips curled. She wasn't breathing enough. Tears came to her eyes, and in silence, one of them fell. She could not add a word, she repressed her feelings too much. And it was obvious she had been through a lot tonight.

- Try to breathe deeply, I softly counseled.

As her tears fell more and more quickly, she tried to catch her breath. I put a hand on her back, and I could feel how intensively she was thinking during all that time. I didn't move until she had calmed down.

- I'm sorry... You shouldn't be here.

- I go wherever I want.

Again, she forced herself not to say a word. I knew the best way to calm her down would probably be to talk about something else, so I did.