Blue Jean Baby (Taron Egerton x y/n)

I'm not afraid

"Oh my god!" you jump up from your seat. There's red wine and broken glass all around you. You can hear your heartbeat banging in your ears. Your body overheats as your brain attempts to process the words that Taron has spoken to you just seconds ago.

"Y/n?" Taron stands up as well. With a confused look, there's another emotion there, you can't quite tell what it is. Or perhaps your brain is too overloaded to decipher the face that Taron is making at you. At you. Taron is staring at you, you are a complete mess. You recognize the look on his face. Disappointment. The same face your family has given you since the day you were born. Your breathing starts to quicken and becomes shallow.

You're too embarrassed to stay. "Taron, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You run towards the corner of the restaurant where you assume the restrooms would be, ignoring the judgmental stares. Sure enough there they are. You burst in and luckily there is no one there.

How do you even begin to process what all just happened? You grab the tissues by the sink and start blotting the wine out of your dress. You're almost amused how it's the same color as your dress.

Shit. Why did I do that? Why did I react that way? Why did I leave Taron? He probably thinks I hate him. He probably doesn't want to see me again after this.

After years you start having an anxiety attack. In fact, this is the first time since you've ran away from your old life that you're having an anxiety attack. London is supposed to be your happy place, this was your escape. How are you supposed to be happy and feel safe here after this? You throw the tissues away and dampen some more tissues under the water to get more wine out.

Why did I make it such a big deal? Taron probably thinks I'm scared to date an actor, someone famous. Am I though? It seems like a lot of pressure being in the public eye. That's why he said he doesn't really date, the idea of having a public relationship sounds like the most stressful thing in the world. Who are you kidding, you're a teacher, that's the most stressful thing in the world. Your life is the most stressful thing in the world. Why do you always fuck everything good up?

You throw the tissues on the ground and grab some more and wad them up in your fist. You look in the mirror for first time, you look rough. There's mascara caked under your eyes with tear streaks from where foundation used to be. It could be worse, you could have ruined your date with one of the sweetest men in the world. Shit. Your hands start tingling and your legs and arms become extremely heavy. You sink to the ground, not caring about the fact that you are laying down on a bathroom floor. On your side, you try to do your breathing exercises to calm yourself down, not wanting to be in this state any longer than you have to.

You start getting feeling back in your hands, and the tears have stopped streaming when you hear a knock at the door which makes you jump. "Y/n? Are you alright?"

You stand, taking in a shaky breath and try your best to sound normal but to no avail. "Umm, yeah I'm fine. I'm sorry," your vision gets blurry from tears again, unable to hold it in "I'm so sorry."

"Are you alright?" His voice sounds bold and concerned through the small crack in the door. Before you could object, Taron comes into the bathroom.

You quickly turn around around so that Taron couldn't see you, learning that that was impossible due to stupid the mirror. "I'm sorry, I probably ruined everything." You turn the water on and run your finger tips underneath, using the water on your hands to wipe the mascara from under your eyes.

"No no no," Taron says softly and slowly walks towards you. "It's alright," he reassures you by placing his warm hand on your shaking shoulder. .

"I'm sorry, I'm so embarrassed about how I reacted." Taron is standing directly behind you, he reaches in front of you to grab a tissue, leaning over you and making you feel safe.