Alphabet || Changhyunlix

M

Felix

The pictures of the event from last evening kept repeating in my head and I couldn't stop thinking of it the whole day.
Currently we were in an amusement park with the whole class as our last activity to do before we had to leave this place later.
Changbin Hyunjin and me were standing infront a big ride and I was debating if I should risk my live riding that or if I should let both of them ride without me.

"Come on, I'll hold your hand" Hyunjin tried to convince me as I told him my worries. I thought about it. At least I could die holding his hand I guess? I nodded hesitantly. Changbin watched our conversation and smiled as I agreed. "Okay I'll buy tickets, you can go wait in the queue." He said and walked off.

We walked to the semi-long queue and waited. "We should've brought some snacks." Hyunjin said as I thought the same. I looked at him from the side. My thoughts repeated themselves again and I had the image of him sitting in Changbins lap again. I wondered if he saw that I was awake during their make out session and I really hoped he wouldn't have.

"Do I have something on my face?" He suddenly asked and I noticed that I was starring. I shook my head and looked away. He laughed and put his hand around my shoulder.
After some time changbin joined us with three tickets in his hand. "I'm hungry let's eat after this" he said and stood next to Hyunjin who agreed by nodding.

After some time it was our turn to take a seat in the ride. It had four seats for each row and we luckily got a row for ourselves. I insisted on sitting in the middle because I thought I would actually faint if I sat on the sides. We put our security belts on and after the worker took our tickets the ride began. It was slow at first but I knew it was going to be crazy in any seconds. "Baby it's going to be okay, you can hold my hand anytime." Hyunjin said and I was so nervous I didn't even realize that he called me baby again.

Changbin patted my shoulder "I'm here for you too" he said and I nodded not focusing on their words. The ride started to get faster and I almost screamed but that would be too embracing since everyone else was still chilling. As the ride got to the top of the fall I had to close my eyes. "I'm scared" I whispered in English and held on to my belt.

I felt Hyunjins Hand grabbing mine and putting them between our laps. The ride suddenly stopped and I opend my eyes for a moment. We were on the highest point and the view was actually amazing but I coudnt focus. Changbin noticed that I was terrified and grabbed my hand too. "Nothing bad is going to happen, let's just-" he said but stopped as the ride moved and drove down. I closed my eyes and screamed as I squeezed their hands.

It didn't take that long but it felt like I was driven directly to hell. As the ride ended I noticed something wet on my cheeks. Did I cry and didn't notice it?
Changbin chuckled a bit next to me and I loosened my hands from them.
Hyunjin patted my head "It's okay we did it." He said while laughing too. I sulked and wiped away my tears "That's not funny, I almost died" I said while we stood up and left.

"Your face was too funny I'm so sorry" changbin admitted while hugging me from the side. I was embarrassed but had to laugh a little bit "I'm never doing that again"

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I was doing it again. But this time it was nothing dramatic just a slow ferris wheels that people ride to enjoy the view. I was pretty exited for that one because I never was on a ferris wheel. We already ate something at a little side shop and were now going into a ferris wheel cabin with cotton candy in our hands.

There were two pairs of seats facing eachother and I sat next to changbin while Hyunjin let himself fall infront of us. The ride begann and we were munching on our cotton candy as we observed the beautiful view.
"Guys it's tradition to tell eachother confessions when riding a ferris wheel so shoot." Hyunjin suddenly said and we both looked at him confused. Confessions? He smiled "Telling secrets about ourselves no one else knows." He explained and I understood.

I coudnt think of anything expect one thing but I waited until one of them both said something. Changbim next to me sighed"Okay let's do this but you have to start." He said a bit hesitant and I wondered what his secrets were. Hyunjin nodded "Let me think of something...ah okay...when I was in middle school I liked to go to my grandma's bathroom and put on all the makeup she had, and then I would secretly go to the grocery store to impress a person I had a crush on at that time..." he said and I had to give him a big smile.

"That's so cute, did your grandma find out?" Changbin asked captivated from the story. Hyunjin shook his head "I never told her, I was to scared she wouldn't like me anymore..." he confessed and I got a bit sad. I knew exactly what he was feeling. "Do you still wear make up?" I asked. He shook his head again "No I think it was just a phase for me, I thought make up would help me to be liked by people but I realized that it was your heart that is the most important." He answered and I smiled at him. "Plus you're naturally pretty." Changbin added and winked at him.

Hyunjin blushed a little bit "Well that was my little story now you!" He said exited and looked at me. I cleared my throat "Hmm...I could tell you the reason I came to Korea..." I said hesitantly. They nodded and I breathed in and out "Well you know... I like girls and boys..." I started and looked at their reaction. Changbin smiled and Hyunjin clapped his hands "Me too" he said and I gave him the biggest smile. Changbin chuckled "Well I don't go by any labels but I'm definitely not straight either but what does you being bi have to do with moving to Korea?" He asked.

I gulped a bit "I told my parents and they kicked me out..." I quietly explained and my heart started hurting at that thought. Hyunjin sucked in the air as Changbin looked at me concerned "Oh"
He put his arm around my shoulder and rubbed my side "That must've hurt you, I'm so sorry. But now you have us and we will always support you okay?" He said and my heart melted at his words. Hyunjin agreed by nodding and I thanked them.

While the ferris wheel started the second round we had to process the conversation a little bit. Then we looked at changbin waiting for him to confess.
He sighed "I never talked with anyone about my life that's why I'm not going to tell you everything yet." He started and we agreed. He looked out the window to avoid eyecontact but that was okay because I could sense his nervousness. "Felix you were right I really like music...but that's the only thing I had my whole life..."he began and looked at us again. I felt like this would be really serious  so I didn't say anything and just listened. "...my parents basically don't care for me and I didn't talk to them since I was a little child even when im living with them. I never had friends too so this is why I have to confess this..." he continued and looked at us.

I was shocked. I never imagined his story could be that deep. I wondered what the reason behind all of this was but I kept silent. I put my hand on his knee instead as a form of support and he smiled at me. "Changbinnie I'm really sorry no one deserves that..." Hyunjin said and just now I noticed that his eyes became watery.

"It's okay Hyunjin don't cry, I'm okay now but as I said I wanted to confess something... since I never had anyone I'm really thankfull for you guys to spend some time with me..." he said and I had to smile. That was so sweet and yet so sad I never imagined his life would be that hard. "We will never leave you." I said.