The void
Every bad decision with people was a porthole I opened and all those portholes lead to the mother of all portholes the blackhole.
The void in me was an uncontrollable blackhole that consumed my mind and forever feeling like I was stuck in time or going no where slowly which I have always wanted to do, like a vision from a film, just you, him, a car and the open road, driving into the sunset but with petrol going up not likely haha that was a joke. Although, love, being romanticized in books did make me curious to know what it felt like leading to me attaching myself to these people and looking for something just to feel human. Only thing is with love comes pain and a lot of other things. Half the time love is never reciprocated and hurts so much when one sided. It feels like you doing everything to communicate and they just couldn't give a damn, it's not owed and shouldn't be expected, true, but you find that you do have this expectation about them to feel the way you do and it's just bound to occur. You can lie to yourself and say that isn't you but don't tell me you wouldn't like the person you like to like you back and the same goes for love. We are only human after all, expectation happens.
This void it ate me up, being alone was never a fear of mine nor was dying just the void made me feel so empty and like I needed something. I wanted to feel safe with someone I could be myself with, for them to see all my sides and love me regardless but this wasn't right. All my answers to my emptiness was and is within me. I am the only one who can make me feel happy and searching for happiness in others only leads to disappointment. They don't see the world as you do. Maybe they will some day but they don't now and so I find myself crossing paths with them as we go our different directions in life.
Ending chapters to stories I don't want to remember and teaching me how to prepare for the next character I meet on my walk into the unknown. However, this time on this walk I may have lost a battle but I'll get up I always do.
To be continued...
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The Rebound
RomanceI was that girl that would always be there to pick up the pieces but sadly no one ever picked up the pieces for me. This is the story of a girl who risked everything for love only for it not to be. With the constant heart break will she grow strong...
