Same people just different faces
I found myself in this loop, it was reoccurring to no end. Same guy just a different face. This isn't me stereotyping guys, I don't think all guys are the same but all the ones that crossed paths with me were and all of them minus their different backgrounds said the same thing... "I'm not like him." This was after I mentioned something about a previous ex or crush that caused me heart break and then eventually after some time they would too. It didn't take long for things to go south and just go further down hill till I hit rock bottom and no one was ever there to pick up the pieces, just me.
I was left to carry myself. A fight between light and darkness. Do I let my anger consume me and become bitter cause of how I had been treated or do I stay as I am, with the hope of something new and no matter how hurt I get to stay as I am till someone understands me? Do I let all this destroy me? Should I turn into the people who hurt me so that I don't get hurt? When I'm the good guy I get the most hurt so would I still get hurt if I became the villian? If instead of them being unloyal, if I was? Hurting others was hard for me I'm not really a fighter I just want peace and calmness but to be as I am always gets me hurt. Maybe it's time to be the one who inflicts the pain not the one there to take it. I'd lose myself in the process cause that isn't me, that isn't who I am but if it means I won't get hurt then maybe I should play with their feelings too, maybe I should cut off from this good person I try so hard to be.
There are times when I want to make people suffer the way they do to me and I can't help it. I try to not but I can't help this. It's a feeling of anger that just makes me want to change and not for the better. I could hurt the wrong person if I do change, maybe I meet a good one and I destroy him like I had been destroyed many times and he too becomes as I do and just hurts the next person he comes across. People play games with people all the time but I don't want to play with heart strings. That isn't me. I can't bring myself to change even though it would save me a great amount of pain. The hope, that's what keeps me going. No matter how hurt I get I won't change, not one thing. If I do I'll be like the people I now hate, I'd hate myself if I became that. They have won if I turn into them.
To be continued...
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The Rebound
RomanceI was that girl that would always be there to pick up the pieces but sadly no one ever picked up the pieces for me. This is the story of a girl who risked everything for love only for it not to be. With the constant heart break will she grow strong...
