Cutting ties
Cutting ties was the hardest thing to do for me. It felt like something in me was still connected to them. I don't know how to explain it. It's like I gave them a piece of my soul. Like my heart was still attached to them. I'd end up thinking about them. I needed it to stop but it wouldn't. I had this urge to go back but that's stupid. Why go back to someone who doesn't want you? They'll just treat you the same way they always have. You'll experience that same coldness. They changed and there's nothing I can do about it.
I tried to change the situation countless times and fix it but they were already cold and once they are you can't go back. It was out of my control there was nothing more I could do. I've experienced it time and time again. Going back would be pointless and I'd make a bigger fool of myself. Why surround yourself with people who don't want you or make you feel unwanted? I felt like I was a burden on him. I guess I was.
I was going through life seeing people disappear on me. They are never there when I truly need them. I try to be there for them but they never open up to me either. I guess they just wanted me around out of bordem. Why would I want to attach myself to someone who is cold as ice now? I was trying so hard to get out of this feeling that was linking me to them. They clearly didn't give a damn, wouldn't even say a word. Not one. It's fine. I needed to cut ties but it's tearing me apart in the process.
Taking a scissors and cutting strings to invisible ties are hard. I wanted to forget this feeling but even so it felt better than still being involved with a person who clearly doesn't really want you in their life. This feeling of no longer talking with them was painful but being with them felt even more so cause it was like they were with you but their mind wasn't, it was somewhere else.
I asked my friend if I was clingy, he said no, I'm just passionate. I asked him how not to get attached. He said he doesn't know. I was trying to see this from a guy's perspective. So to him I wasn't clingy but to this other guy I was? Being hung up on it wasn't going to help. I needed to cut myself off entirely. It would be the only way to be happy again cause the damage was already done.
To be continued...
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The Rebound
RomanceI was that girl that would always be there to pick up the pieces but sadly no one ever picked up the pieces for me. This is the story of a girl who risked everything for love only for it not to be. With the constant heart break will she grow strong...
