Déja Vu

Twenty-Four

I've always known Dain to show up unannounced at the worst times possible, it feels like it's his own special thing. But he just set a new record tonight, right now, at two am and he's waiting before my dorm for me. My gut screams at me not to, but I'm already tying up my sneakers' lace, ready to jump into my coat and walk out to him. The December breeze slaps me with shivers as soon as I step out of the door. I have no idea how come it's not snowing, or maybe I'm exaggerating. Dain is standing there leaning against a streetlight, hands shoved in his pockets. I smile as I approach him but his isn't genuine, seems like a cheap drawing of a leer. I keep my grin fixed to ease the look on his face.

"So," I try to keep my shivers in "What was so urgent?"

"Nothing." He shrugs, pushing away from the streetlight and closer to me "Do I need a reason to see my girlfriend?" My chest tightens. His eyes aren't sincere, it's like his soul is as freezing cold as his body. I shake my head "Dain, we're on break, plus it's two am." He doesn't move and his facial expressions are unreadable. Maybe something is bothering him or maybe he just fought with Monica that Christmas is approaching and he still doesn't want to fly home. I've learned that they didn't come when they were supposed to about two weeks ago because her husband disapproved. And to be honest, Dain has every right to refuse to go home even more. The man literally stopped Monica from seeing her son.

"That break was supposed to end once you came back." He crosses his arms over his chest "It's been a week and you haven't even called. So I thought I should see for myself." I haven't called him because I didn't want to. I was hoping I would have time to organize my thoughts to be able to lay it out for him in the simplest way possible. But now it's two in the morning and I was in my bed ready to sleep, whatever is going to fly out of my mouth is something I'll definitely regret.

"I just needed more time to rethink my decision." I hug myself as a defense against his stare "What has been going over my mind those past weeks isn't something you're going to like."

"Seriously?" He clicks his tongue standing upright from his position. I lounge back in response to his sudden movement. It's not my first time feeling like I need away from Dain as much as possible, but definitely my first feeling this scared of him. He tilts his head, scanning me in the most discomforting way from the top to the bottom "You're giving up on me and our relationship just because I'm being boring? Couldn't it hit you that maybe I'm having a hard time and will be going back to the same old Dain at some point maybe?" I want neither the old Dain nor the current one. All I really want is me, just a free me. I search my head to formulate a reply but he stops my haunt as he speaks up "Or." He takes a step closer as I trip backward again "Was it too hard for you to handle two boyfriends at the same time?"

"Excuse me?" I cross my arms raising my eyebrow. He smirks in disgust "Did I lie? You think I don't know why you asked for a break?"

"Something to do with the fact that you are too much?" My voice starts to break out of my throat. He can't be serious right now.

"Do not flip the tables, Ashley."

"I'm not flipping anything, Dain." I wave my hands in front of his face "I've handled you way longer than a normal human being can endure someone as toxic as you are."

"Toxic?!" He's yelling back, lava pouring out of his eyes as they widen "I am toxic? Was I the one that asked my boyfriend for a break just to run off to Raleigh with the guy I told him he shouldn't think much about?" I scream once he grabs my forearm and pulls me closer to him. His grip is as harsh as a rock, squeezing my wrist I feel my blood is about to explode out of my veins. I try to free myself but he seizes my arm harder "Was I the one that kissed him on the same night, told him I loved him? Went home and never called my boyfriend again leaving him to suffer in overthinking on his own?" He's swinging me forward and backward. Pushing his hand away makes him harden even more.