I Am Not Okay With This!

The Talk

April 13 2022, Dear Diary...

I don't know what to say right now but Deana is still talking to me and my ex friends thinking that we're cool even after all the fights.

Before we got off the bus I started feeling sick but I didn't think much about it because I just thought it was anxiety. But when I got to school and ate a baggle for breakfast and suddenly I felt more sick. I went to the nurses office and told her I wasn't feeling well. My sister Olivia's boyfriend was also at the nurses office but for a different reason. There were some other kids to but I didn't know them.

The nurse told me to wait in here till my mom got here. I don't remember if I mentioned this but my mom is working at my school every Wednesday. And the nurse thinks that it'll be easier for me to talk to my mother instead of her.

When my mom finally got here I told her that I felt light headed and was about to throw up. She asked if I felt weak. As in I don't really feel strong. I said yes and she said that it was probably the medicine I took this morning. Again, don't remember if I mentioned this but I take ADHD medication. She was probably right but that didn't feel like that was it.

She asked if I was able to go to class and I said no. One, because I didn't want to go to school no one does. Two, I was supposed to be in science class today but it was all the way in the other building. And three, I knew I wasn't gonna be able to pay attention anyway because of how I was feeling. Then she asked me if I wanted to go home and I said yes. I knew that once she dropped me off at home with my dad she was gonna have to drive all the way back here. 

While we were walking to the car I said "I'm wasting your time aren't I..." It wasn't really a question, but that made my mom really confused. In the car, we had a long talk on the way home. And it wasn't just about me thinking I'm wasting her time. I'm not gonna say what the conversation was about, but I was kind of feeling good after the talk.