Seven Teachers (OT7)

Ch. 38 - Manifestation

My lonely room is a comfort tonight. As eager as I was to run to the man who captivated my heart, I was uneager to disappoint the other six men. I loved them all, it was true. They all held a special place in my heart. They came into my life like a hurricane. Destroying everything and uprooting the way I viewed the world.

With each of them, they brought a different kind of beauty forth in my life. I learned so much from them, besides the things they were hired to teach me. I learned about myself from them. I learned to love who I was, and not try to change.

So what if I wasn't the most girly? So what if I would prefer to wear a sweatsuit or tracksuit instead of a Versace gown? Things noblemen would point out they disliked about me were things I was most proud of now. I was different, in the most beautiful way. And it was those things that my advisors mentioned they liked most about me.

But I wasn't fully myself these days. I was a manifestation of the company I kept lately.

From Namjoon, I gained wisdom and strength. He told me when he was younger that so many people looked down on him and called him ugly. Can you imagine? Instead of wallowing in the lies he was told, Namjoon rose above it. Now he's this prestigious man, who everyone seeks out. His brain works in such stunning ways, more than any normal person can comprehend. I find him first for advice.

From Jin I learned to just enjoy life and go with the flow. He told me he doesn't like to plan; he just does what he feels like doing. What a liberating way to live. Instead of having Minji schedule my days crammed with events, when I had free time, I just went with the flow. Even if that meant I got dragged into an intense game of Uno with my favorite septet.

Yoongi taught me that my emotions don't make me weaker. They made me stronger. And that it's okay not to be okay. Once you find your strength and learn to repurpose your emotions, you can do anything you set your mind to. He taught me that I'm allowed to dream. To reach for the sky, even if I'm not sure where I'm reaching towards yet. But just to simply dream.

Hoseok brought forth my smile. I never really thought about the value of happiness until I met him. He afforded it so easily and so frequently. I found myself envious of him until he just flat out told me one day that I can be just like him. Positivity beams from me now. With a new, clearer outlook on life I know how I want to spend the rest of my time on this planet. I want to be happy.

Jimin made me believe that showing your love and affection to someone wasn't a bad thing. He always loved so strongly and never hid it. Jimin throws out hugs to anyone willing to receive one and I loved that about him. He improved my day and so many others when he would give out those hugs. He also taught me to be comfortable in my own body. I didn't have to mold myself into someone else's vision of perfection. As long as I was happy with who I saw in the mirror, then that should be enough for me.

 Taehyung taught me to be myself. I could be quirky and weird whenever I wanted. I didn't need to hide my thoughts or behavior. If I wanted to surround myself with the right people, people who would always be accepting of me, I couldn't wear a mask. I'd be proud of who I was, even when I'd trip on my own dresses or be caught with pudding smeared on my mouth late at night.

And thanks to Jungkook, I am now fearless. He has prepared me and helped me to become a mental rock. I absorbed the strength of his spirit and stand strong just like him. I dare someone to try to kidnap me now. I'm a black belt in judo like him. I know how to disarm a person twenty different ways and have memorized every pressure point. The day I leapt from the cliff with him, I left a part of me up there. I left the coward inside me. It's not a part I have missed since that day.

I step into my bathroom and brush through my hair. I check my image and shrug. I knew the man waiting on me would love me regardless of how I looked. I knew that because I saw how he looked at me.

Grabbing my silk robe, I pull it over my sleeping gown and tie it. It was time to take one more leap of faith. I'd tell him how I felt, and I pray that he feels as strongly as I do. Because the moment I laid eyes on him, it was love at first sight. The other six just slowed down my decision, but the decision was always made. I just fought with myself, trying to pretend I didn't know who my heart lunged at.