sі᥊ 𝗍һіr𝗍ᥡ - ᥱ.ȷᥲᥱgᥱr

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

ᴇʀᴇɴ's ᴘᴏᴠ

"i miss her a lot man, and i've noticed she's been getting close with Jean and even closer with Levi, two things i didn't not think was even possible."

"you jealous?" Armin asked from the other end of the phone.

"i shouldn't be but i am. y/n has every right to talk to whoever she wants to talk to, and it's all my fault she is. all that time i spent messing with my ex i could have been with her."

"so what are you going to do about it?"

"i did invite her over for thanksgiving, it may have been too forward but she turned me down though anyways, she already had plans with Levi."

"oof. Ariyah said he's your biggest competition." Armin chuckled.

"not funny bro." i frowned.

"did you really think she was gonna say yes? after everything you put her through?"

"no but-"

"and in a short amount of time too?"

"Armin you're not helping."

"because i'm making you feel bad?" i hated that voice, it was so pitying yet sarcastic.

"yes you are." i raised my voice at him.

"good. you should feel bad, then maybe you'd stop making the same mistakes."

"i'm trying to change Armin."

"but you're not actually doing anything TO change. that's the problem. and until you put action into your words consider y/n gone."

he was right, like always, and my silence proved it once again. y/n is slipping through my fingers like sand as Armin and i listen to the static white noise in-between our phone connection.

"listen man i've got to go, Ari's calling me. talk to you another time?"

"yeah yeah sure." i cut the phone, threw it on the ground and held my head in my hands.

"i see those anger management sessions i've been paying for aren't working." my mother remarked from behind my door.

"i thought dad paying for them?" i remarked from my hands. she opened my bedroom door, i peaked at her through my fingers. from her facial expressions i knew two things, 1. she didn't like my tone and 2. she heard my conversation with Armin. "tut mir leid mama." (tut mir leid - sorry)

"what's going on mein liebes? you seem to be slipping again, i'm worried." she came over and sat on my bed. i didn't say anything, the whole situation was embarrassing on my part. i never thought i'd actually be serious about any girl i met in college let alone this serious about y/n. i felt my mum undo my ponytail and ruffle my hair, massaging my scalp a bit like she could see the headache i've given myself - or maybe that's just her maternal instinct. "i always did like your hair down." the easing of the tension in my head made my head throb less as she played with my hair.

(mein liebes - my love)

"so did y/n." my voice was still muffled.

"who's that?" she asked gently.

"girl i like. fucked it though."

"what did you do?"

"lied about my ex's. got with Georgia and didn't tell her and tried to get with her."

"and what was your thought process behind this?"

"there wasn't one, i wasn't thinking."

"oh you were thinking, with your penis that is." my mother rolled her eyes. i turned my head to look at her. she wasn't surprised which was bad. "honestly Eren why do you do this?"