Life As A Chance

Chapter 15

Danny and I had finished our list in order of where they were, how likely it was he’d be there, and how easy they were to get to. We kept adding more when we thought of them, but so far we have: 

The hospital where Jeydon was born. 

Where Greyson and I got married.

Where the crash was. 

Ellen’s studio.

Oklahoma ( + where paparazzi was recorded)

Maine 

I’m not sure if he’s in any of these places, but I have to hope. 

“Hey, Rachel, are you ready to go?” Danny had the car keys in his hand. Greyson was spending the day sleeping. He still hadn’t gotten used to the time difference. 

“Yeah, I’m coming,” I pushed myself off of the couch with a sigh.

“We can probably make it to the first three if we move fast enough,” 

I laughed, “I’m going as fast as I can! I am pregnant you know!” 

“You’re not that pregnant yet!” Danny laughed and opened the house door. 

We got in the car and drove to the hospital. No one spotted us, which was a first. Danny parked in a spot close to the door and we sat for a moment. 

“There’s no way he’s here.” I whispered. 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Daniel how can you hide a two year old in a hospital?” 

He looked out of the windshield and sighed, “I don’t know,” He shook his head.

We sat in silence for a minute, both of our eyes scanning the area. 

“Do you want to just move on?” Dan asked after a moment. 

I knew he wasn’t here. I could feel it. To go in and look would be a complete waste of time. Time is something I don’t have anymore. I needed to find him. And I needed to find him now. 

“Yeah,” 

Dan pulled out of the parking space and started driving to the park where Greyson and I got married. It wasn’t completely a real park, only part of it. There was a special section just for weddings. Dan got out of the car and walked over to my side. He opened my door and helped me out. I walked with him through the gates and looked around. There were people walking their dogs, kids feeding the birds, couples holding hands. We walked on a path for awhile in silence. I don’t know why he’d be here either, but I guess it’s possible. Anything seems to be possible now. We kept walking, passing the playground filled with little kids. I looked at all of their faces, but none of them were mine. None of them had Greyson’s ears, or his nose, or mouth. None of them had my blue eyes or dirty blonde hair. They all belonged to someone else. 

Danny and I kept walking, Keeping our eyes open desperately searching for something, anything, that would give us a hint as to where he is. We made it to where the wedding ceremonies take place but didn’t go in because someone was in the middle of getting married. We did search all the way around it and every other part of the park before we left though, and we found nothing. 

“Another wasted trip,” I sighed. 

“It wasn’t wasted, we didn’t know if he’d be there. He could have been,” Danny encouraged. 

“Yeah, but he wasn’t.” 

“The day isn’t over yet,” He gave me a smile and opened the car door for me. I got in and he sat in the drivers seat. 

I haven’t been to where the crash happened since that day. I’ve always taken a different road to get where I needed to go, even if it took longer. This will be the first time in over a year. 

“You ready?” Daniel asked, keeping his eyes on the road. We were almost there. 

“Yeah,” My voice was barley audible. 

We pulled over on a nearby street. Daniel and I got out of the car and started walking to the corner. I stopped and stared at the street. There was a long skid mark on the ground and I knew it was from my car. I remember that day perfectly. I remember laughing and singing along to Paparazzi with Greyson one minute to seeing that truck out of his window the next. I remember how the only thought in my mind at that moment was how I needed to save him. How I needed to keep him safe. I remember driving forward knowing there was no way I’d get away in time but having to try anyway because the one I loved the most was right in deaths path. I remember the car being shoved and flipped over. I remember crawling over broken glass to get to him. He wouldn’t respond when I called his name. When I shook him begging for him to wake up. I remember the huge gash over his eye and how there was so much blood everywhere. Him laying on a stretcher, lifeless, while the paramedics put him in the back of that ambulance. He was so pale. I thought he was dead. I thought about how I’d have to live without him knowing it was my fault... 

“Rachel?” Dan took my hand, his eyes wide. 

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and quickly wiped it away before looking up at him, “I’m fine.” 

Daniel and I walked down the street looking at all the houses in the neighborhood. Once again there was nothing. The way home was quiet. There was nothing to say. 

When I got home I cracked open my bedroom door to see Greyson laying in bed. I entered the room and closed the door quietly behind me. I crawled into bed under the blankets with him and he slowly opened his eyes. 

“Hey beautiful,” he whispered. 

My eyes started to water and I clung to him. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. 

“I love you,” I whispered to him. 

“I love you too,” he pulled away and looked me in the eyes. 

“Please don’t leave me,” I started to cry. Really cry. I couldn’t stop. 

“Rachel I’d never leave you. Ever. Why would you think that?” He wiped away one of my tears and waited for me to calm down enough to answer. 

I shook my head, “I just can’t help but feel that you’re going to disappear. That you’ll get sick of dealing with me and all the shit that you have to go through because of me. That I’ll wake up one morning, and you’ll be gone too.” 

Instead of speaking, he kissed me. The kiss said more than words could. He wasn’t going to leave. No matter what the outcome of this was, he wasn’t going to leave.