APPETENCE | c. leclerc & m. verstappen [+18]

02. first time

"Keeping my distance because I know I can't have you."
♪ love you from a distance by ashley kutcher

The first race of the season was always an exciting one for the drivers, Max was beyond hyped for this season. He worked hard for his dream to be an F1 Driver and he always wanted to be the best, he knew that he isn't at that point yet but he wasn't going to give up. His time will come, he knew that and he also knew that he had to work hard for it and focus on his goals.

With all the excitement and pressure he felt right know he almost forget about the news he got before the season even started. There was a new driver in the paddock, well not new to Max actually. Max knew exactly who he is, it has been a couple of years since the last time they saw each other and Max didn't knew how he felt about it. But he was sure that he had to avoid the monegasque as much as possible. He couldn't let it happen again, he needed to focus.

Max wasn't stupid, he couldn't avoid Charles the whole season but he would try. Ever since he got the news of Charles joining Alfa Romeo he tried not to think about the brown haired boy but he often caught himself thinking about him and every memory they had together. Charles was since their karting days the only driver on the grid who got Max to doubt himself many times, he was his weak spot. He often got into fights with his father because of bad race which included Charles. Max always had respect for him, he knew that Charles was a very good driver, one of the best he ever raced against. And if he was honest with himself he was a little bit excited to compete against him again. Did Charles also think about him? As fast as this thought came to Maxs mind, so fast he tried to forget about it again. He shouldn't think about things like that.

Max felt the Australian sun in his face as soon as him and Brad got out of the car. "Beautiful, isn't it?", Brad smiled and looked at the dutch driver beside him. "Yeah, great.", was all Max said, he was still tired and jet lagged from the long flight. This was one of the things he hated about his career, the long flights and the Jetlag that always hit him. "Don't be moody, Max. You should have come with me on the morning run at like 5 am. It was beyond beautiful to see the sunrise.", Max raised an eyebrow at Brad and saw his trainer trying to hide his laugh. "I will never ever go on a fucking morning run with you. Sleep is way more important, mate.", Brad laughed as he couldn't hold it any longer. "I will never give up.", Max only shakes his head as he started walking in the direction of the entrance of the paddock. "I will never understand how you can be such a morning person.", Max murmured as he looked beside him. "You're not normal, you know that right?", Max added and laughed a little. "Well maybe you are the weird one, mate.", Brad joked and walked a little faster to get away from the dutch driver. "If I wasn't to lazy I would run after you, you would be in trouble. You're lucky.", Brad started to laugh again. "I'll wait in your drivers room, okay? I need to do some things.", Max nodded and watched him walking in the direction of the Red Bull Hospitality.

Max sighed as he stoped for a moment and looked around. He didn't saw any other driver, he should have known that Brad made sure that they were on on time, actually way too early. As he started walking his mind zoomed out again, like so often lately. He knew why, he always knew what made him doubt his whole life and every decision that got him here. He was kind of glad that his father wasn't here this weekend, he felt like no matter what he did and archives in his career it was never enough for his dad. Max sighed and shook his head. He shouldn't think about that right now, he needed to focus on his first race weekend.

A voice behind him teared him out of his thoughts. This couldn't be true, right? Max knew excatly who walked behind him before he even turned around. His plan of avoiding the brown haired driver wasn't going to work out like he wanted. Max felt suddenly panic inside of him as he heard Charles voice coming in his direction, he didn't notice him yet. At least that was what Max hoped. He glanced around and searched for a place where he could hide. In the corner of his eye he saw a narrow aisle between the motorhomes, he quickly turned to his right as fast as possible. A few employees gave him a weird stare as he almost run into the narrow aisle. As soon as he was sure that Charles wouldn't see him, he leaned against one of the motorhomes and the panic stopped slowly. He didn't notice that he was holding his breath until he breathed out loudly. Max didn't give a shit about what the people around him thought about him. He turned his head to the right as he heard the voice coming by the aisle where he was standing. He still felt the panic inside of him. 

As soon as his blue eyes saw the monegasque driver all the panic inside of him vanished away. His mind went blank for a few second and the world around him felt like it wasn't moving. How could he still have that effect on him? Charles was the only person in his life who always knew how to calm him down, this wasn't the first time Max was feeling like this. But he never told anybody but every time it happened in his teenage years, it was always Charles who was there and noticed that something was wrong. A lot of people assumed that they were friends, some thought that they were rivals and enemies but actually both of them never knew what they were. His eyes laid way too long on Charles, he hasn't changed a bit since they last saw each other. Well he got taller and older and maybe more beautiful than he was before. As soon as this thought came to Max mind he looked away and closed his eyes as his head turned down to the floor. It was wrong, he always got told that this was wrong and he shouldn't even think about anything like that. 

Maxs heart ached again as he thought about him. "Max?", again he got teared out of his thoughts by a voice. His eyes snapped open as he glanced at the person beside him. "Are you okay? What are you doing here between the mercedes motorhomes?", his teammate asked as he gave him a confused look. "Eh-..I...", Max stuttered and sighed. "I need to go.", Max already made his way out of the small aisle. As he passed Daniel, he stopped him for a moment. "You can always talk to me, Max. You know that right? I won't ever judge you for anything.", Daniel explained and gave him a small smile. "I'm okay.", was all that Max said as he hurried away as fast as possible. Daniel looked after the dutch driver and sighed. He never saw him like that, he was sure that something was wrong but maybe it was just the jet lag or stress? Daniel wasn't sure what to think. In the time he got to know Max he saw a lot of emotions but never this stressed out as a few seconds ago. Whatever it was, Daniel hoped that Max would figure it out before the first race and that he would be fine again.