Jake knocks on the door, but it takes Thomas 10 minutes to finally open.
"Hey, come in." Thomas moves aside to let Jake pass.
Thomas closes the door, and Jake removes his shoes. Jake can feel Thomas being a nervous wreck and very tense as he stands and watches what Jake is doing.
An awkward moment of them standing leads Thomas to snap out of his thoughts and direct Jake to the living room.
"Is everything okay? You're acting weird." Jake asks.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm just going through a lot." Thomas explains as he sits next to Jake. He slightly turns to face Jake, and Jake does the same to meet Thomas.
Jake sees that Thomas has trouble focusing. "What's going on? What's wrong, Thomas."
At the sound of his name, Thomas looks directly into Jake's eyes with tears on the edge of his. "I think they know."
A moment of silence while Jake tries to figure out what he means by that. "They know, Thomas?"
"Yes. My dad has been acting strange, and my mother won't look at me." A tear escapes Thomas. "I don't want to ask anything, so I don't expose anything. But, something is not right."
"Wait, Thomas, what makes you think your parents know you're gay?" He asks.
"I don't, but I don't want to ask why they are acting strange. I've been cautious with my actions. I made sure that nothing gave away my sexuality. I even stayed as far as I could from you." A few more tears escape him.
Jake thinks for a few moments. "Thomas, you have a month and a half left until you are graduated. When do you leave for the military?"
"I leave three weeks after that."
"I say to wait until you leave for the military, discover who you are as a person, be a great soldier, but plan for a possible future without them."
"Without them? What the fuck?" Thomas gets irritated by Jake's suggestion.
"You have to prepare for the worst that can happen. You told me they would disown you for being gay or bi. So you have to ensure you are safe without them before telling your parents. I got lucky, and my mom kicked me to the fully renovated basement. I am thankful I have my dad, but he is in Alaska."
"I think my parents would kick me out if I told them," Thomas admits.
"Listen to me, Thomas." Jake places his hand on Thomas's cheek and turns his head to face him fully. "It's okay to be scared and afraid."
"I just don't want to lose my family because of who I am,"
"Would you rather live an authentic life or a safe life?" Jake asks him.
Thomas thinks for a moment and looks directly into Jake's eyes. "Authentic," he says and moves in, closing the space between him and Jake with a kiss.
Their memories before the breakup flood Jake's head; as much as he cares about Mason, Jake has never closed that chapter in his life with Thomas. Jake leans back into the couch, bringing Thomas on top of him. Their lips never separate, but only to catch a few breaths.
But as good as it was going, Jake pushed Thomas back. "No, Thomas, we can't. I'm with Mason."
"I'm sorry." Thomas goes back to where he sat and let Jake sit back up. Thomas looks down at the floor, guilty of his action.
A few minutes pass by before Jake finally breaks the silence. "No matter where you are, you can always text and call me. Even if we are not together, I got your back."
"Thank you, Jake. For everything."
"Thomas, look at me." When he does, Jake goes on. "You are going to be okay. If anything happens, please come to me. If we have to go away and live on our own, you and me against the world, let's do that, but for now, know that I'm here for you. You're my friend."
On the verge of tears again, Thomas says, "I messed up what was between us."
"I don't think it was going to work. We both have our problems to take care of that. It was going to drive us in different directions."
"Whatever happens, I'll be texting you. Even if the military sends me halfway around the world." Thomas says.
"Sounds like a plan then." Jake puts his hand on top of Thomas's. "Let's make a promise to meet again. No matter where we are in life, we will meet up and catch up on life. It can be at our high school reunion."
Thomas smiles at that idea. "Okay, I promise."
"Good," Jake says. "I promise as well."
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YOU ARE READING
Extremely & Incredibly
BeletrieJake navigates love, heartbreak, and feelings as he battles with the choice of wanting to stay with Thomas or Mason.