The next morning, I woke up next to Dan which had to be one of the best ways to wake up. He had his arms wrapped tightly around my waist and the side of his face pressed against my chest. Not wanting to wake him up, I decided to stay in bed and let my mind wander until he was awake. Like you probably would've expected, my thoughts were soon filled with the past night's events.
This whole situation was beginning to get confusing. Well, more frustrating than confusing. I honestly didn't know who I could trust anymore, I didn't even know who was speaking their own thoughts and who was just speaking off of a script management wrote them. Even Dan was speaking off of their script at times. I couldn't blame him though and I could always tell when he was anyways. No matter how hard he tried to "mean" what he said, you could see in his eyes that that wasn't what he wanted.
I glanced down back to Dan and sighed. Why did it have to be this hard? It used to be so easy when we were just friends. It was so much easier when we were actually allowed to sit by each other in interviews and act affectionate towards each other without people disapproving because we actually had feelings for one another. I wished that I could go back to those times but then again, times are, in a way, better now. We know that the way we feel for each other is real.
There's only a few more shows left until this tour would be over anyway and I could have Dan over at my flat whenever he'd like to come over. Maybe I could even take him to some other country and we could go out on dates without practically being stalked by management. Maybe I could take him to Paris or something, I think somebody once told me that
Paris is the City of Love.
Love. Did I tell him that I loved him too soon? It seems like we've been together forever but the words just slipped out of my mouth last night. I guess I really haven't had a chance to figure out if I loved him or not. I guess the fact that I wouldn't go through this much trouble to be with anyone else must've meant I'm in love with him though. I'm in love with Dan, that thought caused me to smile.
The smiled left my face as soon as I thought of Janna. I'm pretty sure I don't trust her, I don't want to trust her. She seems like the type who causes trouble for fun and god knows, Dan and I have enough problems to worry about. If she really wanted to be on our side, why didn't she tell me about what she was supposedly "forced to say" earlier and why would Dan keep it a secret? Could I even trust Dan right now?
"Kyle." I suddenly heard a sleepy voice mumble, snapping me out of my thoughts. Dan lifted his head from my chest and turned to meet eyes with me, smiling widely. "Good morning. You could've woken me up so I could keep you company, I don't mind."
"No, it's fine. I've hardly been able to sleep lately anyway." I paused for a moment to make sure this was what I wanted to do before I continued on, "Dan, we need to talk. I should've talked to you about this last night but you were tired so I wanted you to sleep."
"What did you want to talk about?" Dan asked while he sat up, moving his eyes from me to the promise ring on his finger. "You... You're not going to break up with me because I didn't tell you about Janna, are you? Kyle, I'm so-"
"Why wouldn't you tell me about that? Don't you think that that piece of information is a bit important to us having a successful relationship with all of this shit going on?" I stopped for a minute to calm myself down a bit. "Dan, they're going to ruin what we have. They're going to get in between us, they're going to win."
"Ky, calm down please." Dan took both of my hands and his own as he looked me in the eyes. "They're not going to get in between us, okay? I'm not going to let that happen, Janna isn't going to let that happen, and I sure hope that you won't let that happen either. Did... Did they tell you to say something like that to me?"
"They didn't fucking tell me to say that to you, alright? Maybe the stuff that they keep having you tell me is starting to get to me. Since everyone seemed to have come to the conclusion that we shouldn't tell me anything, how the hell am I supposed to know who to trust and who's working with them to tear us apart?"
"This was just one little secret. You heard Janna, we needed you to react well and you did. She's going to help us and we're going to be okay." He squeezed my hands lightly and gave me a small smile.
"I don't trust her." I stated bluntly.
"You have to trust her, she's going to help us through this. I don't think you fully realize what we're up against or not but when we're offered help, we're going to take it. We need all the help we can get." Dan let his gaze fall from my eyes to the sheets. "We're going to get through this."
"Can you just put yourself in my shoes for like ten seconds? There is absolutely no evidence as to why I should trust her or anyone else that might tell us stuff in the future."
"She told us that they were going to get me a girlfriend," Dan snapped. "Or is that not good enough evidence? Maybe we should let them break us up then maybe, just maybe you'll see that she was telling us their plans their entire time to help us stay together. I get that you're cautious but we need to trust her."
"You know what? At least Janna got you out of having a girlfriend. Did you know that I can't even tweet on Twitter without having to get it approved first? They go on my account all the time though to post about her. You don't understand, you have it easy." I stood up off of the bed and started to walk towards the bathroom. "I'm going to go take a shower.. or should I ask Janna first? Is management going to get mad?"
