Till Death || Loki

Chapter 35

Loki's POV
A few days after Katelyn's death, during an "experiment", Dr Steven Strange broke the pocket dimension, releasing Thanos and his children.

To say I was furious when I found out is an understatement. I wanted to crash his scall with my own hands. Because that means that Katelyn died for nothing.

And then Thanos got all the stones, killing more people during his "mission" and then erasing half the population of the universe.

To be completely honest, after everything that happened, that would be a relief. I waited to be dusted off but I didn't. I stayed, I survived again and I have no idea why.

Five years later

Today's date marks five year since I lost her. My Katelyn. My favorite person. The love of my life.

My brother is trying to keep an eye on me, especially on this day every year, without mentioning the reason. But I don't need the date to remember her. She's all I think about. I still see her in everything I do every day. There even have been a few times that I would create an illusion of her --sitting on the couch, cooking, sleeping-- and I would just stare at her.

The pain of losing her has faded a little bit but it'll never be completely gone. My heart still hurts whenever I think of her. I fucking miss her and I'd do anything to see her again even for a moment.

But I'm also trying to be good, just like I promised her. That's why I'm currently assisting the remaining of the Avengers with their plan to reverse Thanos' damage. Not everyone trusts me, of course, but my brother and Agent Romanoff vouched for me. They know very well that I want Thanos defeated as much as they do.

"Let's go over the plan once again" Banner says
"Rogers, Stark, Lang and myself will go to New York 2012 in order to recover the Scepter, the Tesseract and the time stone. Romanoff and Barton will be going to Morag 2014 for the power stone. The Asgardians will go back to Asgard 2013 to get the reality stone from Jane Foster, and then to Vormir for the soul stone. And that's six stones" he reminds everyone

"Wouldn't it be more convenient if Thor went to Asgard and Loki to Vormir? It would require less particles. Or Clint and I could--" Romanoff suggests

"No" I cut her off
"My brother and I need to go together" I insist. She nods and doesn't push further. She also lost some important people 5 years ago, including Sergeant Barnes, who Katelyn managed to heal.

"Loki, can I speak with you?" my brother asks and I follow him a few feet away from the others
"Are you sure you want to go back? You remember that Katelyn was also in Asgard while Jane was there?" he asks me

"I do remember. I'm fine, don't worry about me" I reply and I walk away. But I doubt I'll be fine as soon as I lay eyes on her.

And I was right.
When we got to Asgard, my brother went to find Jane while I was supposed to cover for him. Instead, I slowly walked to my room where she is supposed to be resting.

I open the door a bit further and I see her. She's laying on my bed sleeping peacefully. I notice her chest moving up and down as she breathes and I tear up.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asks without moving or opening her eyes.
Of course she can sense me.

"I... I didn't want to bother you" I reply, swallowing my sob. She chuckles and my heart hurts.

"Are you going to stay there or come in? After all this is your room" she suggests. I nod and I walk in. I keep my distance because I know that I'll have to leave soon and I can't handle another goodbye.
"What's up with you? Did something happen?" she wonders

"No, no, everything is good" I reassure her as she gets close to me. I force a smile despite the tears in my eyes.

"Loki..." hearing her say my name again hurts even more
"It's not..." she whispers as she touches me. I close my eyes and I lean in her gentle touch
"Twenty twenty..." she says

"... four. Twenty twenty four" I inform her and she smiles. My lips shake as I try to swallow another sob.

"I'm not there, am I?" she asks. I look away and I shake my head.

"I'm sorry. You were trying to do the right thing, you were saving everyone but I couldn't save you. I couldn't keep you safe for even the few moments you needed in order to complete that damn spell" I explain

"I'm sure that it wasn't your fault. I would never blame you" she says wiping my tears. It is so good to feel her touch again, to hear her voice, to see her...

"How have you been doing?" she asks.

I look away and I let out a breath.
"My mother used to say that someday I will find my sun. Someone that will shine light into my life and make me want to be the best version of myself. You told me to be the hero. So I'm doing my best to be good. But I didn't expect I'd lose my sun so soon. It's hard to do anything without you. It's hard to keep going without you. I miss you" I answer as I caress her cheek softly, afraid that I'd hurt her.

She takes my hands and places them on her cheeks
"I'm here. We have a moment now" she says.

"I'm actually not supposed to be here. I'll have to erase this from your memory after" I remind her

"That's ok, it's the right thing. Just tell me what you need to get out of your chest" she suggests as she has us both sit down. I look at her and she looks at me.

I break the silence with a chuckle
"I'm sorry. There were so many things I wanted to tell you but, right now, I can't think of anything important enough" I admit and she smiles

"That's alright". She leans to me and hugs me. Her scent takes over me and my eyes fill with tears again.

The doors open and Thor comes in.
"I got it, let's go..." he says but stops as soon as his eyes land on Katelyn
"Kate..."

"Hi" she replies and smiles.

"I'll give you guys one more second. But hurry" he says and steps out of the room.

Katelyn turns to me again and rest her forehead against mine
"I love you" she reminds me

"I love you too" I reply
"I'll see you again soon" I add as I place my hands on her in order to erase her memory.