A Suitable Arrangement

Seven: The Destined Fate

Hermione

I had a terrible headache that was forming into a major migraine. I dug in my medicine cabinet for the necessary potion. I unstoppered the lid, and almost wished that I had some Tylenol or Midol. My work day had been pure hell, which was exasperated by everyone's poor mood, and the Goblet of Fire drawing was a big contributer to this.

I looked at the teacher's table, and all of the teachers were very on edge, due to this stressful situation. The Goblet of Fire was unveiled, and the flames burned a pure blue fire. Four names were called up, and they were paired up. The rest of the students were paired with who they were 'destined,' to be with.

Then my name was called up. I got up on legs that turned to water, and I summoned my Gryffindor courage to face the pulpit. The Goblet of Fire spouted up its flames, and a piece of parchment flew upwards out of it. Percy Weasley caught it in his left hand, and read, "Severus Prince."

My heart stopped in my chest for a split second before I saw Severus scowl at me, and stalk out side angrily. Was he angry with me?! I had no idea why he would even think that I would think of casting a Confundus Charm or some other curse to somehow 'fool,' the Goblet of Fire in order to choose him to be my husband.

I followed him, and he was halfway to the Black Lake when I shouted, "Severus! Wait, please!"

He paused in his movements so that I could keep up with him. He then walked in a sullen silence, but then rounded on me as soon as we were under the shade of the big weeping willow on the school grounds.

"What the fuck is your game, Hermione?!" He demanded. "I know how clever you are. You Confunded the Goblet of Fire, didn't you? Didn't you??"

"No!" I shouted. "I did nothing magical to bring this about!"

He grabbed me about the throat and squeezed lightly, but not enough to hurt me. Tears welled in my eyes as I felt him cruelly enter my mind. I tried to shield him, but he was too strong an legilimens and occlumens both.

I wept from the psychic invasion and stammered, "I...I didn't do anything to you, Severus! Nothing! I have..." My face flushed with embarrassment as I confessed, "I have been in love with you since I was fucking sixteen years old. I thought time would make this ache in my heart, this longing for you to go away, but seeing you on the first night of term it felt--"

"Like destiny," He pulled out of my mind. Severus released me, and he said nothing for a very, very long time.

He had his back to me, and he drew in a few shaky breaths as he tried, and failed, to master himself. He turned to me and said roughly, "You don't know a godsdamned thing about me, witch. You want to know me? Really know me?"

I didn't like the darkness I saw in his gaze, it frightened me. "Y-Yes. Yes, I do. I know your father treated you poorly, and he--"

He laughed bitterly. "Oh, he was a regular father of the year. So much so that I have nightmares that go far deeper than the scars he placed on my back. Oh yes, he was a charming model of fatherhood the way he would assault my mother in front of me on a daily basis, and I do not mean just with his fists or the belt. The only thing that saved my ass from getting raped was the fact that he was not gay. You saw some of my school memories of your fellow Gryffindors treating me like shit, and why? You tell me that."

I was openly crying now. He was within inches of me touching him, but I didn't dare, he would not be this open with me again if I did. "Lily? Harry's mother? Sirius Black told Harry it was because you were 'creepy and weird, and was obsessed with dark magic.' It's no excuse, but it was a reason."

"I was not accepted by the so called light side," Severus explained. "But tell me this Hermione, since we're speaking candidly: if you didn't have your little friends in school, would you have turned out so different than me?"

I thought back to my own father getting drunk and occasionally touching me as a father should not. "No," I said without hesitation. "Because I had some measure of abuse from my father too. He...he would get drunk and sometimes touch me," I pointed to my breasts, between my legs, and tapped my lips. "I'm not comfortable with intimacy as a result, and...it took a long time to get over it, but whenever guys would kiss me in the past I would have flashbacks on occasion."

Severus's face paled as he gently divined my memories of being a little girl, and I saw a few tears leak from his eyes at that. "Hermione...I...I had no idea. Am I the only one you have told?"

I nodded my head shyly. It was true, I told no one this, not even my mother. I cried, "I figured that if I could not tell my fiance about my past then our marriage is doomed from the get go."

He lifted my chin so I could meet his eyes. Something seemed to click between us, something deep, and as we stared into each other's eyes, he softly kissed me. His touch was featherlight on my lips, but I felt as light as air. "Is this okay?" He whispered. "I won't kiss you if you don't want me to."

I nodded my head. "I feel...I feel safe with you. I always have."

"May I...may I kiss you again?"
"Yes."

He cupped the back of my head and rested his free hand on my lower back. I laid a hand on his wool buttons and stroked them lovingly while he brushed my lips with his. Instantly, I gasped as his tongue teased along the edges of my mouth. I opened for him, and he slid his tongue into my mouth. My tongue joined his, and he pulled me as flush against him as my skirts would allow. I ran my fingers through his black hair as he licked the roof of my mouth, and when he pulled back, we were both flushed and out of breath.

For the first time in my life, a man's kiss and touch didn't weird me out in some way related to my past. Severus made me feel cherished, and like a woman in his arms.

"I...I...Oh, Severus," I cried. "I have never felt this happy."

His smile was boyish and shy at the same time. I saw in his face the boy he was in school, and I realized that if we had been in school together, I would have loved him that much sooner.

"Me too," He said softly, kissing my hand. He ran his fingers through my updo, and asked, "Were you really wearing widow's weeds just for me, lioness?"

I blushed. "Yes. But I like wearing something so severe for you. Do you like it?"

Severus trailed a hand down down my waist and cupped my right breast. I flinched at the contact. "Yes, of course I do. Oh..I'm sorry."

He released me, and I pressed a kiss to his lips. "No, you're fine. I just...I'm just not ready for...um, touches like that. Kissing you is a big step for me."

He nodded, understanding, "I understand. I would never do anything you're not comfortable with, or ready for yet. Do you understand?"

"But the wedding night--"
"I will go slow, I promise. Are you...you know?"

"Yes."

"Really? You've never...with any one?" He said, with disbelief lacing his tone. "Not even your fellow students in your year?"

"No. I was raised to abstain and wait to have my husband be the only man who has ever been with me," I confessed. "I...I want to give that gift to you when we marry."

He kissed me again, and said softly, "Then I will honor it all the more since I am to be your first."

"And my last."
"Yes. Good night, Miss. Granger."
"Good night, Mr. Prince."

We separated, and went to our quarters. I nodded to him, and he nodded back. I headed inside my quarters, and for the first time, I thought that this entire arrangement would suit me fine, just fine, indeed. I slept with no bad dreams that night, and now that my fate was decided, I felt optimistic about my future and what it might bring to me, and the wizard of my dreams. But one thing was for certain, we would face them both head on, and our love would deepen with time, I could feel it within my very soul. But of course, time would always tell in the end, always...