Hidden Gem: Jake x Reader

Chapter 6

(Trigger warning for self-harm, blood and suicidal thoughts.)

It's my fault... This is all my fault. "Where is it? I need... anything to take my mind off of this, if I could just... There!" I found my razer in the bag, and moved to the bed where I had my towels laying out. Pulling a blade out I started to make cuts along my arm. "1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8." Tears ran down my face with choked sobs as hardly legible words made their way past my lips. I just kept counting the lines I drew on my arm.

Eventually, I stopped. The blood ran down my arms as I let the stinging sensation pulse in my mind. My eyes fixated themselves on the window, watching as the light slowly appeared over the horizon until it was sitting well into the sky. My phone buzzed as I ignored it. I tried to text Jessy before to see if she was alright, but she didn't answer. She was probably blaming me too, why wouldn't she. It was my fault... if I wasn't here... this never would have happened.

With Jessy not answering her phone and my arms screaming at me I finally looked to see why I was buzzing. It was Phil, he was going to call the cops on Thomas and Cleo. So, for Jessy I shot a message at Thomas. I chewed him out before telling him to go talk to Phil about the break-in. Jessy didn't deserve this.

My phone buzzed as I got a new message. For a second I just let it be, before I decided Ishould see if it was Jessy. It wasn't, just Richy. Jessy had called him, and called in. So I told him about the attack. He was going to her, and I asked him to tell her something for me... that I was sorry, and it was all my fault. I almost put the phone down when I got another text.

Jake : Hello (Y/n).

I didn't say anything, a tear just ran down my face. Nothing was okay anymore, I couldn't even muster up a response to give him. What was the point? I couldn't think of any point, or a reason why I shouldn't just jump off this train.

Jake : I'm sorry. I couldn't contact you earlier.
Are you alright? You would usually answer by now?

Me : No! Nothing is alright! It's my fault, just like it was before. I can't even breathe right now.

Jake : Hey, hey. Calm down. What happened?

Me : Jessy was attacked on her way home. He was looking right at me, through the camera. I couldn't do anything. I can't...
I don't even know if she's alright, she won't answer my texts, or calls.

Jake : (Y/n)...

Me : You said they'd be safe
That they were just empty threats

Jake : I was mistaken.

Me : I know these kinds of people.
They give you three warnings, and after that, it's all fair game.
The next time it won't be a warning.
Someone is going to die, because of me
I can't... not again.

Jake : (Y/n)... what did you do?
Did you take pills again?

Me : No.
I'm sitting on my towels on the bed.
I didn't want to leave a mess
If I wasn't here... none of this would have happened...

Jake : It would have still happened.
You said so yourself, didn't you?
He take's everyone, innocent or not.

Me : No.. no. It's my fault and you know it.
Everything was always my fault
He started with calls telling me to stay out of it
He threatened me with a video of Cleo
Now this... it all leads back to me

Jake : I'm sorry :(
I wish I could tell you everything was going to be different.
But you're right. You know these people better than I do.
So why don't you tell me why he did it this way?

Me : He is trying it with everyone
The video with Cleo in the forest, Richy's marking, the threats towards me...

Jake : Did you maybe notice anything about the attacker?