Pain and Love

That Night

Tessa,

Friday,

Few days have passed and we've been okay. We aren't back to normal but our conversation has been flowing better but there is still tension between us which I'm still not sure how long will follow us around. We are back in the flow of uni and work, Hardin has been at the office more than uni and has been staying working for extra hours as well. It's good to see he isn't being a dick and just given up on everything since we got back. I can tell he is still drinking even though I haven't seen him drink in front of me. But it's still annoying me that he won't just stop or even go back to a support group. That is what the lasting tension is, it's the alcohol. I feel on edge being around Hardin when he's drunk because you never know what he could do or say to you. And we all know when he's sober, Hardin doesn't mix his words but when he's drunk, he can be horrible and spiteful about anything that is said around him.

It's the end of the second week since we got back from London, there is another little break at uni and there is a party happening on saturday night. Which I'm feeling 50/50 about. I want to be out with friends and have a good night but don't want Hardin to be around a lot of alcohol and people that are a bad influence on him.

I've been at the office for a few hours just finishing up on the last transcript I had left for me when we were away. So once I'd finished that I took them to Hardin's office as neither Kim or Christan are in. I knock on his door and he shouts for me to come in. I go in and place the load of paper in the basket on his desk. I talked him through the list of the titles of the transcripts and a little bit about them. We talk about our plans for dinner tonight, I say bye and then leave his office and head home for the night. I started to make dinner for us as I know Hardin usually gets home shortly after me. But I'm nearly finished making dinner and he's not home yet. I have our food on the island and start to eat.

But little time passes, I've nearly finished my tea and Hardin still isn't home, I text him to see where he is but he doesn't reply.

Tessa:
'I've just had my dinner but your plate is waiting for you once you get home x'

I text just to let him know and maybe to see if he'll let me know where he is. I put my phone down and tidy up the kitchen. I go off to the bathroom, take off my makeup, then I get in the bathtub, relax myself after the tense weeks we've had. I watch an episode on my phone then get out after that and still Hardin isn't in the house. I checked my texts again and still nothing from him.

Tessa:
'Just wanted to check you are okay x'

I texted him. Then go off to read my book as I settle down for the evening.

I read a few pages of my book before I hear the apartment door open and then a few seconds Hardin wonders through to the bedroom. "Hi Tessa" he says as he comes towards the bed. "Hi Hardin" I reply to him. I wasn't annoyed at him before but I am a bit now. He hasn't answered my texts and I've had no idea where he's been. "Where have you been?" I decided to ask him. "I was just finishing up at the office" he answered like it's nothing. "Oh but I told you I was going home to make dinner and you didn't answer my texts" I tell him not trying to sound annoyed. "Tessa can we start shit now" he answers me back.

"You did not just say that" he has to say that after all the issues he's caused and he tells me that he doesn't want to talk about this. "Tessa I just want to have dinner without any issue" and turns to leave the bedroom. "Hardin it hasnt been me causing the issue, you have changed and fucked things up recently. I was doing dinner for us and you stayed at the office and did not answer me. I was doing something nice for us as we were getting along a bit more in the last few days" I told him whilst putting my book down and followed him as he's now out of the bedroom and heading to the kitchen. "Tessa I'm sorry now fucking leave it now" he says to me whithout even looking at me. "No Hardin don't fucking tell me what to do" I raise my voice slightly to him. "Tessa thanks for dinner now, leave me alone and get off my back" I he turns to look at me and I can see the anger building in him. So I decided to leave him before I lost my shit with him. I head back to the bedroom, get ready for bed then back into bed and continue to read before I fall asleep reading.