Pain and Love

Stressed And Annoyed

Tessa:

I didn't even run after Hardin after we argued because I knew what I said was fucked up. As soon as Noah's name left my mouth I felt instant regret and hatred for myself.

After I stopped thinking about the argument I walked over to my desk to grab my phone and I rang Hardin but he didn't answer like I guessed he wouldn't. I ended up texting him knowing that there was a high chance I wasn't going to get a reply. I was in two minds about chasing after him, I knew he wouldn't want to see me but the other part of me said to chase after him and apologise as many times till he forgave me. But I also knew he was full of anger and annoyance which seeing me probably wouldn't help him calm down.

It makes me a shitty girlfriend but I just stayed at work and continued working. I stayed at work till my shift was finished and then I headed home. Not remembering till I got into the carpark that Hardin drove off in his car and I had no transport home. Which yes I sounded lazy cause it isn't that far of a walk but after today I just wanted home to see Hardin and say my sorrys.

Just as I was about to start walking Kim walked out the building. "Hey Tessa" she said as she stood next to me.

"Hey Kim" I said in a tone that was far opposite to hers, she sounded cherry whilst I sounded tired.

"Hey what's wrong?" she questions me whilst she puts her arm around me to comfort me.

"I'm just tired, that's all" I say, shrugging it off.

"Tessa come on I don't believe that, you seem down and not just tired down"

"No I'm fine just tired I swear" I say trying to persaud her

"Mmm wait where's Hardin?" she asks looking around to find him

"Oh umm we had an argument and he left earlier" I sigh

"Oh Tessa, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it was my fault I caused him to leave I said a really shity thing but I dont really wanna talk about it"

"That's okay" she says which I didn't expect since normally she wants all the gossip.

"I know it rude of me to ask but is there any chance of a lift home?" I ask her shyly, feeling guilty for even asking her.

"Don't be silly Tessa of course I can give you a lift" Kim says to me and we both start to walk over to her car.
...

The car ride was short and quite quiet thankfully cause I wasn't really up to speaking and I think Kim realised that as well. As soon as we arrived at the apartment building I quickly got out, said my thanks to Kim and then headed up to our apartment.

Once I stepped into our apartment I shouted Hardin's name a few times whilst taking my shoes off and jacket but I didn't get a reply. I then go into the kitchen and see glass shattered on the floor. I continue to say his name whilst going in and out of all the rooms to which I fail to find Hardin in the end.

After my search for Hardin around the house I trench back to the kitchen and start to clean up the broken glass on the floor. After cleaning it up I came to the conclusion that Hardin was so pissed from the argument he was probably trying to find alcohol to sidetrack his mind, just like he used to do. My vile words made him go back to being the old Hardin the Hardin that drinks away his problems rather than talk about them. I was always glad when Hardin would talk about shit going on in his head even if it was a small conversation. I was still glad because it meant he wasn't out getting blackout drunk and sleeping with some girl. But now because of me he could be doing that. But Hardin isn't the same person he used to be so maybe he won't get drunk and is just out for a drive.