11/28 by uliaj06

nine

Happy thanksgiving ;)

The picture above is an idea of the shirt she's wearing

October 25

It's been a month since I've seen or talked to Tate.

I've managed to not think about him, but every once in a while, he randomly pops up in my mind.

I hate how that happens.

I want so badly for things to go back to before, when I didn't know Tate was living somewhere close to me and I didn't know what he's become.

I can't help but feel guilty because of the things I said to him. I know I shouldn't because he deserves it, but by doing what I did, I felt no better than he is.

I want to apologize but I don't want to see him.

I think I just want closure and to just move on and end on good terms.

I have no way of contacting him.

I could just look him up and I'll know where he works and his number and everything because he's known, and people know of him.

I could, but I don't want to.

I'm just hoping that maybe fate will somehow bring us back together again and we'll see each other so I could apologize.

A part of me is just screaming at myself to look him up and go to his work then maybe "fate" will work faster but, I just really don't feel like it.

Aelin is still gone. Out of this whole month so far, I've only seen her in person for a week. We call and text obviously, but it isn't the same, also, I don't have anyone to cook for me.

Cay cooks for us whenever he's around, he isn't a good cook either but he's better than me. He's been with his new boyfriend, Luke, a lot recently and he seems really happy.

I'm happy for him.

Luke is beautiful.

He's South Asian, dark brown skin, and gorgeous hair. He's a hairdresser so he experiments with his hair a lot from what Cay said. From the picture I've seen, I was envious of his beauty.

His hair always seems to be pushed back, his color darker than my hair but almost the same shade, loose natural curls that fell slightly above his thick brows.

If I'm not with Cay and Luke, I'm pretty much living off of take out and cereal. When I say I can't cook, I mean I literally can't.

I tried to make scrambled eggs but every time I do, they always come out wet.

I don't know how or why but they do.

And I think I add too much milk or something because it does not taste good. I've been living off of cereal, box mac and cheese, bread, and other junk, processed food.

I've tried to make pasta like the ones Aelin or Cay make, and they make it look so easy but I can never get it right. I try to make cookies but I end up burning them somehow, same with a grilled cheese sandwich.

I always burn those and the cheese never melts right.

Tonight, I have a meeting with specialists working at Louis Vuitton for a new collection of purses. I'm friends with a head designer, Angie, who's also coming to the dinner to discuss the showcase. I don't know where we're going, all she said was that she's coming to pick me up and it's a fancy restaurant.

I'm mean it's Louis Vuitton, what did I expect?

.

I'm running late.