SUCKER FOR PAIN ▹ N. Romanoff

FIVE. coyote peterson can't compare

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━━ "IS HE SERIOUS?!" Romanoff hissed as Xiomara pulled the doppelgänger away from the tree. She pulled the two agents down under a thick bush. Xiomara had to lay on top of the creature's body to keep it from moving and making too much noise. The real Romanoff, on the other hand, could only hope that her auburn hair wouldn't stick out and draw unwanted attention.

Xiomara's heartbeat rang in her ears, taking over her hearing as she held her breath. She tightly shut her eyes as three police cars drove past, taking too long to move past for comfort. The two agents and the double continued to silently lay on the ground, even though the police were long gone. Suddenly, the double pushed Xiomara off of it, the agent landing on her back. It then pulled out a knife from its sleeve and attempted to stab Romanoff.

She rolled out of the way, which lead to the double slashing the air. Xiomara helped Romanoff to her feet as the double started its sloppy attack. Xiomara did notice that the creature and the real Romanoff had similar fighting styles. It could dodge the redhead's hits and punches, almost as if they were in sync. She then realized that she could use this to her advantage. The woman backed away, the creature's back facing her.

When it raised its hand to stab Romanoff, Xiomara smacked the knife out of the copycat's hand, catching it before it hit the ground. She turned the thing around and ran the knife across its throat. However, it was obvious that this thing wasn't human; oil gushed out of the slit instead of blood. Her eyes widened, her breath practically evaporating as the doppelgänger fell to the ground, a heavy thunk sounding as it landed.

"I saw something." The real Romanoff bent down and ripped off one of the pant legs of the other being. She pointed to a tattoo that sat on the abnormally-hard ankle of the duplicate. In black ink, a tiny HYDRA symbol sat. "It's always HYDRA, isn't it?" Xiomara shook her head.

Before she could get another insult in, the eyes of the duplicate glitched before shutting down completely, darkness taking over them. The agents' eyes widened as the abdomen of the alien-like being spewed out red and orange flames.

"I think that this...this thing describes you quite well." Romanoff nodded, Xiomara looking back at her in confusion. "How so?" She asked for clarification as she grabbed the ankles of the thing, pulling it away from the bushes.

"Fiery and explosive." The Russian redhead quipped, stomping on her metal counterpart. Since she was the only one wearing fire-resistance boots, she could do this without injuring herself.

"Y'know, this describes you too." Her tone sharpened, annoyance taking over her voice.

"In what way?"

"Dead inside." She deadpanned as Romanoff extinguished the last of the flames. "Now, what shoe size do you wear?"

"Excuse me?"

"I wanna see if the fake-you's boot fits me!" The woman bent down and began to untie the laces on the black combat boots on the burned replica. "Centeno, are you seriously about to steal the shoes from my fake burnt body?" She pursed her lips, a slight furrow between her brows as she stared pointedly at Xiomara.

"I mean, we did raid two S.H.I.E.L.D guards vests and what-not." She shrugged halfheartedly. Romanoff's criticisms only aggravated her more. Luckily, when Xiomara tried the shoes on, they fit perfectly. "And your jacket size?"

"It's burned!"

"Well, not the entire thing! Just the zipper part! Besides, do you see this bomber jacket, Romanoff? These are so cool!" She lifted the body and began to remove the jacket. She slipped it around her body, threading her arms through the sleeves. Xiomara adjusted it, a satisfactory smile on her face. "See? You could've just answered the question, but no, you needed to be a little smart-alike. A sabelotodo, if you will." She gave Romanoff a hard glare before picking up the fake version of her and carrying it away.

"What the hell are you doing?" The Russian woman stormed after her colleague, crossing her arms, her eyes narrowing. "We did all this for evidence that we didn't go out and steal shit," Xiomara readjusted the burnt body on her back to keep it from slipping. "Here's the evidence."

"And if someone sees us?"

"We hide in the bushes again. Unless you have another idea."

"Just dump it in a river." Romanoff instructed, which gained her a shocked look from Xiomara. "Are you a psychopath? Is something wrong?" She questioned the redhead, who only stared back at her.

"If there's one, that means there's more. There's a Clint, a Maria, and you. We can't use this one because we messed with it and your fingerprints are all over it. Let's find a different one. Drop it in some river."

"Find a river, Romanoff! We're in the middle of the fucking woods! There probably isn't a river or pond for miles! So, if you're such a genius, find me a po-"

Romanoff placed her hands on Xiomara's shoulders and turned her body. When she finished, she pointed at a murky body of water that was about one hundred feet away. "I'm a genius then." The woman shared a smug look with Xiomara before beginning the trek over to the pong. "Go drown." The brunette muttered, begrudgingly following her colleague.

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After weighing the body down with rocks, Xiomara threw it into the water with a labored groan. The two watched as the double made a large splash in the pond, Romanoff closing her eyes to keep the dirty water from entering them. "You struggled carrying that thing?" She chuckled condescendingly.

"That hunk of metal is heavier than you would think, and I'm not a bodybuilder. Besides, I don't see you throwing yourself in there." The woman argued, instantly tired of Romanoff's slick comments. She walked off, not caring if the redhead followed or not.

"Y'know, maybe we shouldn't wander around the woods like baby ducks and pray that the mother duck finds us." She quipped as Xiomara's hands balled into fists, her knuckles lightening as the tension ran through and around her hands.

"Look, I get that we're supposed to be in a petty argument, but we're absolutely lost in the middle of the woods. I just threw you into a dirty, dirty pond. The police are after us and- and Maria and Clint for a crime that none of us committed. So, we're in a petty enemy-type relationship, and normally, I'd be ok with it, but we're stuck in the middle of the woods, and it's too early in the morning for this." Xiomara broke, her voice cracking with aggravation. "So, please, let's save our witty banter for later."

Romanoff, for once, listened. She quietly followed Xiomara, even though neither of them knew where they were going. They didn't even have a compass to accompany them on their journey into the unknown.

All they had was the moon and the hope that no snakes or other animals would kill them, so the odds were not in their favor.

{ AUTHOR'S NOTE }

I swear, no snake is biting them.
Also, sabelotodo means 'smartass'

- V