What is love?
What it feels like?
How it makes you feel?
Love? What is it?
I can't feel it, I can't touch it.
Nobody loves me anymore. It's a fact and I'm not creating this up.
I don't know what it feels like to be loved by someone.
Yeah, I know my life is sad and nothing interesting to talk about.
Since my beloved grandma passed away 16 years ago, half of my soul gone.
I was a kid,
I was clueless,
I was curious,
I don't know why everyone was crying but as soon as I got older, I realized that I had lost the only person who purely loved me.
She's the only person who ever loved me.
I'm not an orphan.
I do have a parents, siblings, but I can't feel their love towards me.
It breaks me whenever I had to talk about "love" from family.
I can't feel their love,
I can't touch it,
It's like I'm in a dark, cold places,
I can't get out, I can't get help, I'm stuck.
My feelings are not dumb, it's valid.
I feel unwanted,
I feel unloved.
I missed my late grandma.
I keep a photo of us.
I was a toddler,
I was happy to sat beside her and took a picture together.
The living photograph. It's speaks a thousand of words that I couldn't.
I feel numb. I don't know how to feel the love, accept the love from someone anymore.
I've tried,
But I'm tired.
I had to stop chasing love, people.
I had to stop begging everyone to stay.
I'm tired,
I'm done trying.
I'm not sad nor happy,
I just don't know what to feel anymore.
YOU ARE READING
Dark Voices
AcakSometimes, thoughts could kill and the only way to express it by writing it down. Write and eventually everyone will understand you. This is my story, I share my pains with you and it is an open letter, for my circle.
