Princess - A Tom Riddle Fan Fiction

Chapter 32

You hold me as you destroy me.

--

Tom comes in announced without so much as a knock. He looks distraught, eyes searching my face for an answer he assumes I have. He shuts the door surprisingly gently for the agitation clear in his demeanor. 

He doesn't talk as he walks over to the foot of my bed. He doesn't talk as he sits down and grabs my right hand and places it in his. He doesn't talk as his fingers trace my veins up to my fingertips. 

He looks up after reaching the top of my ring finger. He doesn't release my hand though, he holds it tighter. I don't utter a word as he does this, it's better left unsaid. 

He parts his lips, finally ready to speak, "I want to tell you something. Please don't react until the end."

I attempt to keep my surprised expression to myself. If I failed, he doesn't show me he's noticed. I nod, afraid of speaking. Afraid of scaring him off.

He rubs the back of my hand, his rough finger leaving a trail of blazing fire across my skin, begging for more of the comforting motion. He replies in action, repeating the movement again and again.

"You don't know everything about me."

The small fact feels too real coming out of his mouth. I break eye contact, trying to hide my discomfort as he wishes. 

Tom... I want to say, don't say it. Don't make it real.

"I want to tell you," the formerly soft voice hits the edge of fear. I don't react. "I want to tell you about me. My past."

I meet his eyes again, trying to provide as much comfort to him as he's giving me. I can't.

"I told you about my parents. Did you know I was named after my grandfather and father? I hate my mother for that. Reminding me everyday who I come from. Who I was meant to be. I need a new name, though I am still to figure it out. I go to an orphanage during the summer. I've been there since the second I was born. I'm powerless there. Yet somehow, I'm still powerless here."

I have a question, though am reluctant to ask. He's perfect here, what does he mean by "powerless"?

Luckily he answers for me. "I'm poor, a half-blood, and lack the upbringing to be something worthwhile in the wizarding world. The second I'm done with Hogwarts I am lost. Powerless. So I did something, something to keep me worthwhile."

The twinge of excitement and eagerness in his voice makes my soul ache. He doesn't deserve to feel worthless. He deserves power. He deserves everything. But I know what he's doing will hurt others. I feel it.

"I always knew what you did. From the second I met you I knew who you were, who you are," he cups my face, bringing my forehead to his.

"And we're the same. And I don't want to worry about what I'll be after Hogwarts. Because I don't care anymore. Whatever you'll do I'll follow. Whoever you become I'll match you perfectly. I promise, I'm done with the stupid shit I've been doing. Everything I do, say, and think revolves around you and it will remain that way."

Then he says the words that are my undoing. The words that put me on my undeserved pedestal. The words that he knows I need to hear.

"I belong to you."

I close the little distance between us. My lips meet his and I shut my eyes so violently I don't think I can open them again. My free hand tangles itself in his hair and he immediately responds. The kiss is nothing more than a kiss. It doesn't move further and neither of us intended it to. But passion, fear, and loneliness are felt every time his thumb swipes my cheek or I play with his dark locks. We finally lean away, giving ourselves a moment of breath that isn't the others.

I open my eyes, staring back into his. They look empty on the surface, but the longer I stare the more his feelings come to light. The faded darkness pressed up away from view and sadness pushing to the front. The glass orbs revealing everything he won't say.

I feel a tear break from my guarded eyes and ride down my face. He swipes it away, a giving me the familiar butterflies. 

"Tom," I whisper, "I'm exhausted."

He bites his lip, his facade still not fading. "I can't leave you."

"But you did it so well every other time. Why not just once more?" I ask. 

Truthfully, I'd like him to stay. For him to hold me for the entirety of break and to whisper facts about me, himself and us. For him to let me lay on his chest as he traces random shapes and words on my stomach. For us to talk and get to know each other without the pressure of keeping secrets and standards of who we're meant to be vs who we want to be. Just us, Tom and Florence, spending winter break together. Like normal people.

"I'd like to do that too, princess," he smirks, the smile more sad than playful.

He moves to the pillows, leaning back against them. I lay my head down on his lap staring up at the ceiling as he touches my hand. The small touch sent a wave of butterflies through me, sending my heartbeat into a frenzy. I hear his small laugh, the first joyful sound from him throughout the conversation.

"You're an interesting boy, Tom Riddle."

"Am I? How so?" He responds with intrigue.

"You always make the best moments so heartbreaking, and the peaceful moments so exciting. It's a strange talent," I murmur, my body already falling into a deep sleep.

"You are interesting too," he says,

"Why would you think that?" I counter playfully.

"You make the worst decisions so incredibly fun. You're ruining me."

I smile, almost drifting off the sleep. "I sure hope I am. Where'd you be without me?"

"Nowhere you'd like, I assure you."

I fall asleep to his response, the air around us finally settling into it's place in the quiet night.