It's Real

Chapter 5

Before my aunt could even start the car, out of the corner of my eye I see Sarah running out of the restaurant. I guess she finally spotted me and headed straight for the car.

Hurry! Start the car!! Come on let's go now! I wanted to scream, but I held it in.

Sarah knocked on the window as I rolled it down.

"Hey...I forgot... to get your...number.." she said trying to catch her breath.

"Oh. Uhh here I'll write it on a piece of paper for you." I told her grabbing a pen and paper out of the glove department.

I quickly sprawled my number as fast as I can and handed it to her. Before any of us can say anything. A chubby guy with an apron on stepped out of the restaurant.

"Hey girl!! Get back in here and do your job!!" He yelled out to Sarah. She didn't even look worried. But I guess she saw my worried expression.

"It's ok, that's my uncle. He's like the second owner of this place, and he always gets on my case. It's no biggie" she explained to me. She seemed visually relaxed, so she waved bye and got back inside to do her job.

During the entire ride back home was completely silent except for the low volume of the jazz station playing. I honestly didn't want to talk to my aunt. She tried a couple times to converse with me but I didn't answer so she just stopped trying.

We got to the house and I made my way to my room quickly. I sat down on my bed and sighed. I really don't want to go to therapy again. Oh yeah and I also have the hang out thing with Sarah and her friends to go too. Why couldn't I just say no? I can speak for myself. I can't believe my aunt said anything to her. I was lying about being busy. I don't have anything to do most of these days. I'm just glad that we don't have school for two weeks due to winter break.

I get ready for bed, brushing my teeth and changing out of my clothes into pajamas. There's a knock on the door.

"Come in" I say loud enough for my aunt to hear. The door slowly creaks open. I knew she couldn't go to sleep without making sure we were okay.

"Hi, Ari. I know you're mad at me-" She starts to say but I cut her off.

"It's ok. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. I know you just want what's best for me. So I'll try to make friends tomorrow." I said exactly what she wanted to hear. She seemed to be happy about what I said even though I meant none of it. Then she left after giving me a hug good night.

The door shut and I was left in complete darkness. I started to drift off in my thoughts.

What if I did open up to someone about my father? But I can't. I don't want them to feel bad for me because they don't know what I went through. And they think they know, but in actuality they really don't. They will never understand it unless yet went through the same thing. Not even my therapist will understand and I don't expect her too. The way my father touched me. It's still in my head. It's a memory that doesn't want to get lost.

It's the memory the one you try to forget. Hell! You'd do anything not to remember any of it. But when it's been done so many times- I lose it this time. I bawl my eyes out and I can't seem to stop. The tears are just rolling down my face. I remember my mother did nothing about it she just sat there and watched. Even applauded my father. What kind of parents do this? Why do they even do it.

She just sat there while my father touched me in ways he should only touch his wife, my mother who did nothing about it. I could never forget the fact that she can only sit there and watch. That only made me cry harder. That she didn't care about me, nor did my father.

I was laying there and my father was on top of me. The first time I didn't understand what he was doing. But it was the second time when my mother watched him do it. I was crying to him for him to just stop. Crying for my mom to do something. But it was like neither of them could hear me.

I closed my eyes trying to push the thoughts out of my mind. Trying to stop the tears, but they just kept flowing out of my eyes and there was a pain in my heart, my chest that I couldn't bear that it made me cry even harder.