Dying and Everything in between

19| It hurts to try

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Joy wasn't in the meeting the next day.

Or the next day. Then the next.

One week later, Lucas still hadn't heard from her.

At first, Lucas wasn't too worried. Joy was a big girl, capable enough to take care of herself and he shouldn't be too worried about her anyway. Even on the third day, Bea also assured him that there wasn't something to be worried about. Maybe she was just busy. 

It made sense. Lucas knew that beyond their dangerous adventures, she had her own life that didn't involve bland, sterilized rooms and an assortment of medical tests that poked and prodded at her every other day.

It would be stupid to think they could spend their time normally without fearing anything.

But when Joy didn't contact him for an entire week, he knew something had to be up. She missed the meetings and missed the days they were supposed to be working on the bucket list. She didn't text him. It was like she just vanished.

And as much as Lucas tried to act like it wasn't bothering him, he couldn't. It did bother him.

Her whereabouts lingered in the back of his mind, picking at his thoughts throughout the day as he lounged about in Laura's office. He no longer found any fun in making paper planes and throwing them at the ceiling or spinning aimlessly in her chair like he used to. Like he did before he knew Joy.

Time dragged in the worse kind of way when you had nothing to do. The way where dread gnawed away at his conscious and everything felt strangely claustrophobic. His stomach churned with every single day that passed, knowing the message he sent was still yet to be read.

It was weird worrying like this for a person that was a hundred percent capable of looking after herself. Plus he wasn't much of a worry-wart, so all of this was weirdly new. He never worried this much about anyone — it was stupid. Very stupid.

But Lucas would admit, as stupid as it was, it also sucked. He couldn't help but feel like he was missing something, like a part of his day was stolen from him, and no matter how hard he tried to search for it, he couldn't find it.

What shocked him the most was how he suddenly found lingering around Laura's office a greater waste of time than it usually was, and no matter how hard he tried to fall back into his usual routine, it all felt strange. Sitting in her chair left a bitter stain on his tongue, one that he couldn't ignore, and the paper he would fold into planes was shoved aside, unfinished, no longer in his interest to complete.

And yet, there was nothing he could do about it.

"No Joy again today?" Laura glanced over at Lucas as she shut the car door behind her.

"Yup," Lucas was standing beside her, debating to go to another floor and kill time there for today. It would be his shitty attempt at adventure. "Nothing."

"Awh, I'm sorry about that," Laura sighed, adjusting his collar. "Have you given her a call?"

"She didn't pick up," He fiddled with his hand, trying to hide the annoyance in his tone. He ended up failing when Laura gave him that unfortunate look.

"Maybe you should try visiting him," She said reaching over and ruffling his hair.

"Now why would I do that?" Lucas scowled, lightly pushing her hand away.