Dying and Everything in between

Epilogue

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"Hey Baby," Laura let out a whisper, placing a gentle kiss on Lucas's head. "I hope you're hanging in there."

He remained frozen, unable to reply or to squeeze the hand that she placed on his hand. She adjusted the blanket over his chest, the smile she wore breaking apart as Lucas's breaths became more and more strained. She watched him suck for air, only to close her eyes and squeeze his hand tighter.

"You'll be okay," She said reassuring Lucas or well, reassuring herself. She watched as Lucas's face crumpled with pain before the creases slowly eased. "You're alright, k-kiddo. The nurse just came by to give you something t-to feel b-better."

The entire room was dark, curtains were drawn shut, and the lights were off. Laura kept it like that on purpose, knowing Lucas preferred it that way. She made sure nothing would disturb him.

All that remained was the nearly inaudible hiss of his ventilator, her small sniffles, and the occasional hum of Lucas's vitals machine monitoring his weakening heartbeat.

Around the room were flowers and gifts from far relatives and her colleagues. Laura only brought them in now that Lucas was in the final stage. He made a huge fuss about gifts, saying they were out of pity, but she knew she couldn't just throw them away.

"You know," She stroked his knuckles carefully, tilting her head back to relieve some of the pressure behind her eyes. "I'm not as prepared as I told myself. I-I made sure to separate my feelings for so long so I could oversee your case, but now? I-I'm just here to be your aunt, Luc."

"I remember when I first got you," She shook her head, hair falling over her eyes as her shoulders trembled. She swallowed thickly, voice cracking as she said, "I was so stressed and distant. I didn't want kids. I wasn't interested in any of that."

"But you?" She smiled, kissing his wrist, wishing maybe by a miracle he would hold her hand back and say it was nothing but a nightmare. "I changed my mind. You changed my mind. When things got less chaotic, I learned to appreciate you a-around our home."

"Our home will be so empty," Laura blinked back searing hot tears. "I c-complain about picking up your damn laundry and you escaping at night to go, God knows where! I don't think I'll really miss that but," She sniffled again.

"I'll miss talking to you. Hearing your voice. I will miss your complaints. Laughing at your stupid jokes and your insults about my experimental cooking." She slumped forward, pressing her face into the palm of his hand. "It'll b-be so hard without you."

"But you can stop fighting now. I'm so proud of you for trying, and it was a pleasure," Laura let her tears fall freely, fall onto Lucas's ice-cold palm. "A pleasure to be your parent. You're my kid, Luc. You'll always be."

"I love you, Lucas," Laura hummed, tasting salt on her tongue as her cheeks were stained with tears.

She pulled away from him, gaze fixed on her dying child. She wearily eyed his heart monitor, watching it steadily rise and fall. "You wouldn't want me to beat myself up."

"Thank you, baby," She said, but before she could finish her sentence, she shot up in her seat watching his heart monitor crash.

Laura swore, her breath was knocked out of her lungs at that moment. She freed her hand from Lucas and clamped it over her mouth, a pained, strangled sob muffled behind her hand as she watched him crash.

She couldn't even hear herself cry over the rapid alarm blaring from Lucas's monitor. It was like everything happened in a blur. Lucas dying. The hospital doctor coming in to pull his plug. His lifeless body laying limp on the bed.