Dying and Everything in between

26| Too into him

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"You look like absolute shit."

"Why thanks." Lucas scooted aside his plastic chair, making room for a smiling Bea to sit right next to him.

But Bea was right: he didn't look too great. His skin was paler and hollowed out. He experienced chills often, leaving him no choice but to stack layers upon layers of clothing. The layers weren't so bad since they hid his worsening health.

Other than that, Lucas sported a mask from time to time. Laura told him to be mindful of inhaling too much pollution or being in crowded public areas with Joy to make sure nothing would overwhelm his weakening immune system.

But he was managing! Even when he couldn't cross the parking lot without stopping in between to catch his breath or keep food down, he was doing his best.

"Can I ask why you tracked me down at the hospital cafeteria of all places?" He asked, watching as Bea slid her tray onto the table, filled with food that he eyed enviously.

He hasn't been able to eat anything other than pudding lately and he was managing just fine, but a rice bowl sounded so fucking good right now.

"I just wanted to talk to you," Bea shrugged. "I haven't spoken to you in a while anyway, so why not we eat lunch together."

He snorted and gestured at the empty space in front of him, "More like you eat and I watch you."

"Oh now you're making me feel bad," The corners of her lip curled downward. There was nothing mocking about it, which he appreciated. At times, she reminded him vaguely of Joy. The pair shared some odd similarities.

"Please," He shook his head, "It's really okay. I can't eat it even if I want to."

"That's just depressing," She muttered, shyly forking some rice into her mouth. "I'm sorry in advance." She added after swallowing.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," He mustered a forced smile, his fingers tugging the fabric of his beanie further over his ears.

"So," She started, refusing to let the conversation down, "You're dying."

"Pretty much," He nodded.

"And I saw you at the dialysis center the other day. Does Joy know about that?"

His stomach dropped. He blinked at Bea, "Um, what? You saw me where?"

"Too touchy of a subject?" She shrank in her seat.

"No," He licked his chapped lips, his fingers drumming anxiously over the table. "Not at all. But you saw me? At the dialysis center? Why were you there?"

She nodded, sitting up straight again, "I was just passing by that part, and I happened to see you. Since when were your kidneys failing?"

"Since when were you so nosy?" He grumbled.

At that, she nearly launched forward with a soft chuckle, "I told you-I'm just like Joy,"

"But seriously, have you told her? I know you guys have been hanging out more, and I'm glad to see that you guys are happy and all, especially in your current situations." She added, gesturing at him, the pained expression evident on her face.

"Joy doesn't know," Lucas answered curtly, almost adding- 'it's better that way' -but to keep her from butting in, he remained silent.

Being with Joy was like a dream. Maybe he should be honest with her sometime in their limited future, but he knew she wasn't that stupid. They both knew there was going to be an end between them; it was quickly approaching.