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After Kaden and I cut all the stars Jack told us to, Kaden walked me home, when I arrived my dad prepared me some dinner and then I walked up to my room.

I was feeling disappointed and a little sad, Mark's face was stuck in my mind, I know it sounds selfish and that I only care about looks...but that isn't the problem, I really can't connect the feelings I have for my admirer to Mark, they just don't go together in my mind, and that makes me sad.

Finding my admirer didn't feel as special as I thought it would feel...

And that sucks for me!

I try to cheer myself up playing some video games, but I can't focus, in the end I choose the option that most teenage girls would choose.

Play sad music, lay in bed and let my feelings overflood me.

I connected my phone to my speaker and left my music in shuffle, I then laid in bed.

I stared at my ceiling for a while.

Mark

After all those letters...-

Mark

The little game he played with me.

Mark

And it was him?

Why do I feel like this is wrong? As if I'm in some book, waiting for an unexpected turn where I actually fall in love with Mark and we live happily ever after.

But this isn't a book, this isn't fanfiction. And I'm in love with someone else, my mind started to drown in old memories.

"My lady"

"Let yourself fall and I'll catch you!"

I wish...

"Could you stay for five more minutes?"

I really wish

"You look beautiful"

If just...

"I bet you're dying to kiss me now"

If it had been you

"Friends, right?"

I really wish...

"So you have nothing to fear, as long as you're with me"

I really wish it had been you, Albert

My eyes were getting slightly watery, ridiculous as it sounds, I had disappointment hitting my chest, it hugged my heart and soul like a curtain.

***

After a long night that I slept completely, since it was easier to distract myself when sleeping, the next morning I woke up still feeling disappointed, my whole body felt cold for some reason, it wasn't physical, it was emotional, I stood up and went downstairs to see my dad cooking something in the kitchen while he was singing a Michael Jackson song

Dad: "Because I'm bad! HEE-HEE"

I laughed and he turned around to notice me, his face filled with happiness

Yn: Morning

Hid face dropped and turned into a concerned expression

Dad: What's wrong?

Yn: Hm?

Dad: You seem down, what happened honey?

He said looking at me with pity, I tried to hold everything in my chest and forced a grin

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