𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄 | 𝙎𝙏𝙔𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙊𝙉

CHAPTER 35

♡| don't you know, you're my golden hour. the color of my sky. you've set my world on fire and i know, i know everything's gonna be alright.

MAY 16TH 2009, IT WAS EASY TO SAY THAT WAS THIS was single-handedly one of the best days of Louis' life.

The morning started out the way most mornings did, Louis woke up, stretched and made his way to the bathroom, where he did his morning skin care routine, brushed out his hair, and just tried to drill it in his head, that no matter what happened, he was going to have a good day.

He broke up with Zayn two weeks ago, and even though he knew of the boys scandal, all the cheating and lies, it did seem like he broke up with him out of the blue.

So, maybe it was the tiny amount of guilt that he felt that agreed to meet up with Zayn for lunch today. That and the fact that he feels the need to tell Zayn he knew the boy had been stepping out on him, and that's why they broke up. 

He wasn't all that nervous, Zayn had been a part of his life for months. He just didn't know whether it mattered if he told Harry or not.

Things had been a little bit different since that night in Harry's room. He knew the older boy was upset that he took this long to break up with Zayn, and even though there was no pressure being put on Louis, nothing was going to make him break up with Zayn faster.

The thing that was making his breath all shaky, and his heart beat out of his chest, was the fact that he didn't know if Harry was going to get upset or not. He didn't exactly have any intentions to tell Harry, but he also doesn't know if not telling him was going to ruin whatever was building up between them.

Either way, he washes his hair and puts on a decent outfit. He puts on the cheap perfume because he's not trying to make it seem like he's dressing up for Zayn, but he also doesn't want to seem slobbish, like breaking up with Zayn had some sort of negative effect on him.

I mean, he for sure felt bad about it at first, he just dumped the boy with no notice, no change in character, and no explanation. He simply just told the boy that things just felt different, and he didn't want to lead him on as he cleaned out the drawer of things he had at the boy's house. 

But other than that, he's been fine. Things haven't picked up with Harry just yet, but he wants Zayn completely out of his mind before he makes any kind of commitment with Hary.

So maybe there's another reason has to why he's meeting up with the older boy. 

<3

Zayn is forty-five minutes late, which is very on brand for him. 

Louis is so used to it, that by the time Zayn shows up, he's already got food ordered for the both of them, and he's already dug into his. 

"Sorr-"

"It's fine, Z. Kinda used to it." Louis tries to force a chuckle to lighten the already tense air, but he knows Zayn can tell its forced which does not help at all.

Zayn takes his seat across from Louis, he's spent the last two hours figuring out what to say, but what do you say when meeting up for lunch with your ex-boyfriend. They don't teach you that shit growing up or in school.

He's got not clue what to say, he mumbles a soft 'thank you' and lets out a tiny sigh before digging into his food. 

He has a suspicion that Louis knows, and as he realizes that Louis ordered his very specific favorite meal, and the fact that the boy memorized it because it's something that Zayn loves, makes him feel awful. 

"Zayn," Louis starts, he takes a deep breath and does his absolute best to maintain eye contact,  even thought Zayn isn't particularly helping with that, "I just want you to know, I didn't break up with you without reason. I knew." 

And Zayn wants to play dumb, he goes to open his mouth, but Louis cuts him off before he can even make a noise.

"I knew we weren't exclusive, but I kinda expected you to cut things off with everyone else once you asked me to be your boyfriend?" his voice cracks a little bit, "I won't lie to you, Z, it made me feel like you u only asked me to be your boyfriend because you knew that I had pretty much cut things off with Harry, and if there was one thing I knew about you, it was that you loved pissing Harry off."

Zayn sighs, and it's confirmation that in some way shape or form, Louis was right. 

"Look, I've always found you cute and attractive, and I'll admit it. In the beginning, yeah, I wanted the ability to call you my boyfriend solely to boil Harry's blood because fuck that guy," there's a small silence, and then Zayn looks up to make eye contact with Louis. "But somewhere along the way, I started to catch feelings for you. I didn't know it because I don't do that often- feel things for people, but it happened."

Louis' heart wants to break, he wants to feel bad somehow but it's too late, and he knows that if that meant absolutely anything to Zayn, he would've stopped seeing other people.

"So? If you actually felt anything for me, then you should've fucking stopped messing around with other people and gave committing to me a try. Just a fucking shot, Zayn. And if it didn't work out, well then I think that would've meant that we weren't working out either." 

Zayn stays silent for a little while after that. 

It's kind of hard to think of what to say in these situations, especially when it's technically the first break up for both parties involved. 

Lunch goes on for thirty more minutes, and ends in apologies and no hard feelings, and a, not very promising, 'maybe we'll be friends someday'.

 The two exchange a quick hug outside of the restaurant that Louis so badly wanted to be their spot because God-fucking-damnit he wanted it to work. But he won't dwell on it, he's simply going to let bygones be bygones and move on because there's better things waiting for him.

It takes him a while mainly because he knows if he doesn't tell Harry that he went to lunch with Zayn (sort of) it's going to eat him up and he's going to act all weird and it'll just be worse than not telling him. 

And it's not like he didn't have his reasons. Closure, it was closure that he knew he needed to get so that he could give Harry his all. 

You can't give someone your everything when there's remnants left of someone from your past. 

<3

At some point, he makes his way to Harry's place, it takes him five minutes, but he finally knocks on the door. It opens up a little too fast, and before he even knows it, he's in Harry's arms.

"I missed you." the older boy is mumbling and peppering kisses on top of Louis' head. 

There's something calming in the way Harry greets him, they're not even dating, it's been less than a day since Louis last saw him. Yet here he is, holding on to Louis like this is his last time seeing him for the next ten years. 

Louis doesn't say anything, opting for a kiss instead. And it's so relieving, being able to do that. They haven't gone further than makeouts yet and Louis is totally fine with that, but moments like this make him want more than that. 

Harry senses it, he cuts it off and mentions that he's got dinner going, and he's getting ready to put Grease on because it's friday and even though it'd technically his week to pick a movie, he couldn't help but put Grease on for his favorite boy. 

And maybe he felt bad for breaking up with Zayn, but it was totally worth it.

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how am i supposed to write at least one smut scene AND progress them into boyfriends in five chapters pls i cannot do thissssssssssssssssss

i was gonna write a blowjob in but im tired and my brain is giving out so mayhaps next time besties (also i havent written smut since i was 19 and a virgin and now im 21 and not a virgin and ik how it works so i am HOPING ill be better than i was EVEN THO I WAS PRETTY DAMN GOOD AT WRITTING IT)

all the love <3333