𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄 | 𝙎𝙏𝙔𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙊𝙉

CHAPTER 08

♡| it was harry's graduation party, where louis realized that he was actually leaving in two months

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JUNE 1ST, 2005, HARRY'S HAVING HIS PARTY AND HES THE ONLY ADULT WHO ISN'T DRUNK, which works out in Louis' favor.

Louis was sitting up in Harry's room, his graduation party was taking place and music could be heard upstairs.

It's not that he was crying because Harry graduated, he was crying because how is he going to survive while Harry is gone?

Harry has been there his whole life, he's babied Louis for as long as he can remember and Louis loved it. Louis loved being babied, and praised, and told he was good and perfect, but he only loved when Harry did it.

Only when Harry did it.

When others would do it, Louis would get so upset and he'd cry and cry for Harry. He wouldn't stop until the boy came.

It was no surpise to Harry when he walked up into his room to find a sniffling boy on his bed. He knew Louis was going to be like this.

The boy was holding a picture of them on his very first day of school, he and Harry were so young. He still thinks Harry smile is the cutest there ever was.

"Blue? What's wrong, angel?" he walked in slow, knowing how to approach Louis.

" 'm gonna miss you." he furrowed his eyebrows and pouted, he set the picture back in its spot on Harry's dresser, he didn't want to get any tears on it, seeing as they were just falling freely now.

"Baby," Harry said softly, moving to sit on the bed next to Louis, the smaller boy climbing into his lap, "I'm not gonna leave you for good, baby." he sighed, kissing Louis' clothed shoulder.

"You don't know that for sure, though. What if like - what if you meet someone, and, and you love them and you just want to be with them all the time. Or what if you meet someone and they don't like how much time you spend with me and how-...close we are, I wouldn't want you to have to chose." Louis wasn't daring to make eye-contact with Harry, so instead he focused on his chipping nail polish.

"I'd chose you," Harry shrugged, cupping Louis' cheek so his focus could be on Harry, "no doubt about it blue. If someone can't accept my relationship with you then I can't be with them."

"Good luck then." Louis mumbled, looking away from Harry.

"Ah well," he smiled, hugging Louis, their chests were pressed against each other, "I'll just have to marry you then won't I?" he chuckled, kissing Louis' temple and tickling the boys sides.

"In your dream, Styles." he was kidding, if it ever came to that, he'd undoubtingly marry the older boy.

"Is my little Lou okay?" he smiled at the angel on his lap, and as always, began to imagine a reality where that angel were his.

"Keep calling me that, and I'll purposely go into it, and start calling you daddy and ask for cuddles and coloring books, don't try me." Louis giggled, as Harry rolled his eyes before moving the boy to stand up.

He said something about cake and how he'd be back in five minutes, but the second he left, things weren't all that great.

Louis said on Harry's bed, completely unable to think about how he'd been so infatuated with Harry for such a long time, and he's never not going to feel that way for Harry. Sure, he loves Harry and Harry loves him, but in his mind he and Harry love each other in different ways.

And that's the problem with out world. People always want to assume, and then verbally attack whoever it is because they're defensive of themselves. No one wants to sit down and have a talk with someone about their feelings and stuff and that's why things never go good.

Which is exactly why Louis doesn't say a word when Harry comes back with a big piece of cake and two forks. That's why the sit in comfortable silence, only making comments about the taste of the cake.

And that is why, in the following two months when Harry left, they were both crying. And it wasn't because they were just going to miss each other - as they had said as an excuse.

No. It's so much more than, it's because they're both so gone for each other but because of the age difference, the fact that they don't want to focus on right now, and the fact that they fucking act like they'll ever love another person the way the love each other.

And when Harry left that day, Louis slept in Harry's bed, and Harry cuddled the stuffed animal Louis gave him. And Harry fucking sobbed into it that night because not only was it Louis' favorite, and he cried when giving it to Harry, but because Harry was so attached and so, so, so fucking in love with an under aged kid he's known his whole life; and he was so disgusted with himself for it.

He was a fucking pedophile at this point, it didn't matter if he knew he'd loved the kid since he was sixteen. It was wrong and, in Harry's mind, by the time Louis reaches eighteen, he'll be with someone and Harry will just have to watch. So he went off into that reality he'd created in his mind - the one where he and Louis could be together. 

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emoish???? idk >:

all the love, dj c dizzle