The Accidental Seduction of Edward Teach by Stede Bonnet, Gentleman Pirate

Chapter 2 - The Doctor is in

Ed drifted off to sleep for a few hours, but then his bladder woke him. Still drunk and a bit worked up, he flopped like a fish out of bed. He looked back to see if he disturbed his bedmate, but Stede was still fast asleep and snoring softly with surprisingly melodius and very nasal little honk-shuus.

He made his way out of the cabin and onto the deck. There was the slightest hint of cold air on the breeze, and the water was glassy still. The fingers of dawn reached across the ocean, hinting of sunrise that wasn't far off.

Ed could see the shapes of the crewmembers asleep on the deck, but it seemed the party had well and truly ended some time ago. As the ship rocked gently, empty rum bottles chimed together.

Ed moved to a spot away from the sleeping crew, lined himself up along the railing and unzipped his pants to piss overboard.

"I wouldn't touch that railing if I were you," came a voice from the shadows.

Ed startled so badly that he nearly whipped his open pants around and peed all over the deck.

Lucius came into view. He looked sleepy but also drunk.  He bit his lip as he caught a glimpse of Ed's open pants, but didn't comment. "Roach missed peeing overboard right there earlier and made a little yellow stream all about the deck and on the railing. Almost like you just did, though I suppose you can't make it any worse." He giggled a little, then touched the very railing he told Ed not to. "Oh, god. Ew." The edge of the sail got a wipe.

Ed shifted so his back was a bit to Lucius then continued the business of emptying what used to be rum into the ocean. "What are you still doing up? S'not like this is the only spot to piss overboard."

"Oh, I can't sleep while drunk. Gives me nightmares. So I have to stay up till it runs through my system." Lucius hefted a water skin. "Pissed three times already. One more should do it. FYI, going to be useless tomorrow," he flopped his wrist. "So mind yourself when you're moving about in the morning, mmmkay?"

"Sure," grunted Ed. The interaction with Stede had put him in a bad mood, and it was late enough that he could feel the fingers of a hangover starting to creep into his brain.

Lucius sighed heavily, then leaned against a mast. "All right. What is it? I'm just drunk enough to still play ship's counselor."

Ed didn't say anything, just broodily looked out across the water. He felt a nudge at his arm. When he turned, Lucius was passing over the water skin.

"Come on, then. Let me guess. Our dear co-captain being a bit of a dick tease?" Lucius was pretty blunt, but he was usually not that blunt. He really was still a bit drunk.

"I don't get it," mumbled Ed after a swig from the water. "Not used to this. Usually if you fancy someone, you just...fucking..." he made a vague sweeping gesture. "And if he's not into it, fine. On with your lives. But..."

"But with Stede, you can't just roll up and go hey, I like you, fancy doing some butt stuff?"

"Exactly," Ed snap pointed.

"Mhmm, yeah, you'd run the risk of him running all the way back home. I see the problem. Fancy lads are a whole other kettle of fish, aren't they?" Lucius snatched the skin back.

"You know about fancy lads?"

Lucius rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Un...fortunately. I had this job in a shop when I was younger, handling the ledger and all. This son of a local nobleman kept coming round when he definitely didn't need any flour or sugar, if you know what I mean. He was cute and we messed around a little, but when I tried to take it further, he fu-reeeaked out. Told his father I seduced him. I had to skip town because he and a posse threatened to cut my balls off."

"Oi," said Ed, his gaze darkening. He pointed at Lucius, "Tell me his name and one day we'll go fuck him up."

"Aww," Lucius touched Ed's arm. "Aren't you sweet. I'd like that."

"I don't want Stede to threaten to cut my balls off," said Ed, a bit wide-eyed at the thought. He reflexively protected said balls with his hand.

"Oh, don't worry. That's not the real danger here. But you have to remember, he's not like us. He came out here, because he is...like us," Lucius moved his hand to motion to both of them. "But he didn't grow up with the same...acceptance. He doesn't know how it works. But I think he is courting you. In his own way."

"He's...what?"

"Well, in his fancy lad world, you do all sorts of extremely boring, extremely chaste stuff before you even get close to the fucking bit. Like...he escorted you to a ball."

Ed looked perplexed as he tried to pull incidents together, but he listened intently to Lucius' words.

"He took you on a picnic. He showed interest in the things you like. He definitely got jealous of your ex. Has he given you presents?"

"Presents? Not..no, not really."

"Okay, so not everything. But you see what I'm getting at."

Ed nodded, face pinching as he tried to recall it all. "It's ridiculous. Complicated."

"Oh hell yes. But it's what he knows. I think you and your dick will just have to be patient." Lucius inhaled. "Speaking of. I think I'm ready for that one last piss. Good night, or morning. I'll send you a bill for my services."

—

Ed stayed on deck until the sun started to truly rise. Then he quietly returned to the cabin.

Out of habit, Stede had rolled back to his customary position on the outside of the bed. He was still snoring gently.

Ed watched him for a moment, then moved across the room and very carefully climbed over top of Stede to get to his spot. He sunk down against the comfortable mattress and stared at the ceiling, one arm over his head. He couldn't bring himself to look at Stede for the longest time. Then, slowly he turned his head to see that the first of the morning's light had illuminated his bedmate.

Sunlight glinted off a little trail of drool in the corner of his mouth. Stede had put his nightgown on backwards, which meant there was a deep V in the front, revealing his chest with its little tufts of flaxen chest hair. A curl of hair was in his eye and his eye twitched every few seconds.

Ed slowly reached over and pushed the curl out of his face and behind his ear. He examined the lines of the other man's face and imagined what he might have looked like when he was younger. For a moment, he wished they had met when they both had more life still to live. But some part of him was aware that they needed to meet at this time in their lives to truly connect. Ed was still very angry when he was younger, still mired in a deep pit of darkness. There wouldn't have been any cracks that Stede's light could have penetrated.

Eventually, Ed drifted off to sleep, only to be woken up a few moments later by the shift of the body beside him.

Stede had rolled over and somehow found his head on Ed's chest, nestled into the spot left from his arm tucked above his head. He mumbled something in his sleep and for a moment, Ed thought he heard his name.

Stede shifted again and an arm found its way over his torso, bare palm resting against the skin of Ed's side where his shirt had lifted. His hand flexed, gripping the tiniest bit of chub along the side of Ed's stomach. His body had been rock hard in its day, but as he aged, there were parts that were softening in a way that he hated until that exact moment.

And then, with the early morning breeze drifting through a crack in the window, both men drifted properly off to sleep.