The Accidental Seduction of Edward Teach by Stede Bonnet, Gentleman Pirate

Chapter 10 - The Lighthouse

The rest of the day passed in dreamlike quiet. Ed and Stede had another swim when the sun hit the beach side and the jungle was the cooler option. They played a game of cards. They made dinner. They drank wine and just talked in that easy way of theirs. Without the tension hovering between them, it was very much like the early days when they could riff for hours on the most ridiculous and mundane subjects.

Ed built a small fire so that they'd have evening light, but it didn't end up being necessary. Both were exhausted, and it wasn't long before the sun went down that they settled in to sleep.

There was a moment where Ed considered initiating something, but his gut told him that Stede needed a little more time. His strategy of letting the other man initiate had paid off so far - even if it drove him half-mad in the process. So he settled for curling up against the other man, knowing with confidence that the contact wouldn't spook him.

There was, however, a soft kiss goodnight that lingered for quite some time. There was something in that kiss that gave Ed pause. Lines of worry that had disappeared from Stede's face were slowly returning. But Ed tried to tell himself that it was his imagination.

Eventually, fatigue won out and both men drifted off into sleep.

Ed woke up sometime in the early hours of the morning. The wind was whistling through the palm trees, and part of their little structure had come loose and caught in a nearby bush. The moon was high and full, casting a pale light over the small island.

Stede was not beside him.

Ed reached over to touch the spot where Stede had been sleeping and found that it was cold, so it seemed unlikely the other man had just gone up to rid his bladder of wine. He rolled himself to his feet, briefly considering taking the knife that was part of their supplies with him. Fear of spooking Stede made him leave it behind, despite his instincts telling him to be prepared for some kind of threat.

But what threat could there possibly be on a tiny deserted island in the middle of the ocean? The island wasn't large enough to support any large predators, and even if a ship spotted their fire from the sea, there would be no reason to come ashore.

Ed made his way down to the beach. When he spotted Stede sitting down by the shore, looking out at the ocean, he exhaled and dropped his shoulders in relief. Then he made his way down the strand.

"Stede? Everything all right, mate?"

Stede sucked in a breath and looked over at Ed. He smiled gently and shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. I didn't worry you, did I?"

"No," mumbled Ed. "Maybe a little. Thought maybe you'd been dragged off by a mermaid or something."

"Can mermaids come on land to grab you?"

"Probably not," replied Ed. After a moment of standing awkwardly a few feet from Stede, he plopped down on the sand beside him.

Stede didn't say anything for a long while. It made Ed uncomfortable, and a familiar worry started to clench his heart.

Just when he was about to ask, Stede said quietly, "Ed. I'm worried you're changing yourself for me. I have a bad habit of ruining things."

"Well, how could you ruin me? I was ruined long before I met you," said Ed. The candid nature of those words surprised even him. He was not a man with a huge depth of self-awareness, but as soon as he said it, he realized how much that was actually true. "I even...I came close to doing things that'd just...let me die. I was fucking miserable."

Ed curled his arms around him, legs hugged to his chest. He dug in the sand with his toes.

"But you're different from the man I first met. And I keep thinking about what I said to you, about how I didn't like who you were when you were around Jack. Which was cruel of me." Stede's words were soft and quiet. His brow was tightly furrowed.

"That's because I don't want to fucking die anymore, Stede," said Ed with a little bit of heat to his words. "And I don't want to be Blackbeard. Haven't for a long time. S'fucking boring. And I have to be such a dick." He jammed his toes deeper into the sand, then said, "There's a difference between changing for someone and changing because of someone."

Stede considered that and turned to look at Ed. "I...think I see what you mean." He flickered a smile. That seemed to reassure him, at least a little. "I just...keep hearing so many voices telling me things. And something you said, once..."

"What did I say?"

"I said...I was a lighthouse. But you're supposed to avoid lighthouses, you said. So you don't crack up on the rocks." Stede's voice hitched. "I don't want you to crack up, Ed."

Ed shuffled over and reached out for Stede. He slid a hand around the curve of his neck and tilted his head to look him in the eye. "I was cracking up when you met me, you idiot. You've been patching me up this whole time."

"But I hurt them. I could hurt you. I just left. What kind of person does that? I keep thinking..." Stede's lower lip wibbled. "I think I have to go back, Ed."

A chill shot down Ed's spine at those words. He gripped the back of Stede's neck. "We go back, then. And you say a proper goodbye. You tell them you're not coming back. Get closure so we can move on." His words were a little desperate, a few syllables squeaked out. He felt his eyes starting to sting. Panic started to set in. They'd only just found each other, and now Stede was talking about leaving him. It stirred up the beast that had been banished from his heart. He could feel the tentacles reaching out again.

Stede was quiet. He looked down at the sand.

"Don't leave me, Stede, please," Ed sucked in a deep sob. He leaned in and buried his face against the other man's neck, long limbs grabbing desperately to him. "Please. I don't know what I'd do...what I'd become..."

Stede seemed shocked by that show of emotion from Ed. He gripped Ed in return and rocked him gently. "Shhh, Ed, come on..." He pulled back to look him in the eye. He cupped his jaw and ran his thumb in slow, round circles. There was fear in his eyes, but also guilt and worry.

"Please..." Ed whispered again. He grabbed the other man's hand and kissed the back of it, then dropped to bury his head against Stede's lap. His whole body started to shake with barely contained sobs.

"I won't leave you..." Stede whispered, fingers brushing over Ed's hair. "I'm sorry, darling. That was foolish of me. Just a silly man and his silly worries. I won't go anywhere, at least not without you. I promise, all right?"

Those words, especially being called darling calmed Ed somewhat. He lifted his head, his dark eyes wet with tears. He leaned in suddenly to kiss Stede fiercely and possessively, a hand hooking around the back of his head, fingers threading through thick blonde hair. He kissed him until neither had any breath left, then he just clung tightly to him.

It surprised and worried Ed how badly he seemed to have fallen for the gentleman pirate - a fact he hadn't quite understood until faced with the thought of losing him.

—-

The next morning as they were making breakfast, a ship appeared on the horizon. Both men were on-guard at first, until the ship got close enough to make out the unicorn masthead of the Revenge.

"I thought maybe we'd have another day or so," murmured Stede.

"Probably Izzy throwing his weight around," said Ed as he folded a bit of cloth.

"Guess it's back to work, then," said Stede with a grin, but there was something still a bit troubled behind his eyes.