Sweet 'n' Sour | ✔

four

4. Aadat ho ya bimari? (Are you a habit or an illness?)

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I dreaded going home after the blunder I had created. For almost an hour I lingered in the society compound, wishing for the earth to split open and swallow me whole. I can't believe I said what I said. What was I even thinking asking whether Priya is single or not? And to top it off all, I asked the question to her sister? The person I was thinking of getting married to? What did even Priya do to get me so infatuated with her? If I remember correctly, she came late. Which I absolutely loathe. Then she proceeded to interrogate me like a cop, building my anxiety to a completely different level. And I vehemently dislike people who make me anxious. She neither smiled nor tried to act friendly. She gave me no hint, no signal, that she would ever want to settle down. She looks like someone who performs black magic on the entire existence of the male species. Did it really have to be her!?

But Goddamit, the woman was fascinating.

Like a half-torn page of the book.

She compelled me to think about her. The way she handles herself, the way she speaks, the way she watches you, I wonder how many men she charmed without even intending to do so.

Despite not wanting to, Preeti had ignited a flame of hope in my mind. I couldn't help but envision just how it would feel to have that woman as my wife. Fuck.

She made me feel things I can't explain. Of course, I was far off track from those sparks and fireworks, but whatever it was, it was absolutely amazing. She thrilled me. Like one of those roller-coaster rides that slowly raise you to the top and then bam, you crash into the depths like a wingless plane.

I've had a crush on many women. Some just as intense as these, some less, some even more. I remember Veronica, a foreign exchange student in our college from Cape Town, had been my obsession for almost two months. I couldn't stop thinking about her, had almost gathered enough courage to go and ask her out. But then her exchange programme ended and she flew back to her country. I was heartbroken for complete three days. Then came Anita and my crush got updated, even if not upgraded.

I wonder if this is the same. It has to be right? Priya has that exotic vibes about her. She looks untouched, unconquered. As though men would rather slit their tongues than ask her out. She isn't the marriage material no matter how much I want her to be. She doesn't look someone to do well with new relationships. I can't take a risk and sign myself up for heartbreak.

Yes, I can't take the risk. Just give me a week and I'll get over her. Just a week, with no mention of her, no thoughts, don't even bring up her name. Forget her. Wipe her existence off my life map.

With a nod, I plucked enough courage to go home. Mom and Meghna showered me with their questions before I even had time to sit and take a breath to relax. The two jumped on me like a missile test gone wrong.

"Is she the one?" Meghna leaned in curiously. Mom regarded me with the same gaze.

No.

"I don't-"

"Don't say no. But don't say yes either. Let's have our families meet."

"I don't know," I said, regretting my words immediately. I was supposed to say no. Just like I had planned two minutes ago. How did I change my mind in such a short time? Why am I so damn indecisive!?

"Oh," Meghna sat back disappointed. "So, same like Sunaina."

"No!" I shot up straight. "Not like Sunaina. Preeti suggested the families meet and I didn't say no."