Sweet 'n' Sour | ✔

forty-eight

48. Saath chahiye, sirf adhikar nahi. (I want your companionship too, not just a right on you.)

A/N: her Mami's name is Ragini again. Excuse this bhullakad writer. I wonder what the early signs of dementia are. 😭

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Priya has a very forgiving nature. She is benevolent in the sense that it makes the other person feel guilty for taking advantage of her kind nature. And if they don't, maybe they are just humans without any humanity.

I can't forget what happened last night. Even though she was hurt and angry, it didn't stop her from quickly ignoring all the bitterness just to make sure I didn't cause myself any serious injury. It was my fault, so what gave me the right to act all demanding and upset? I regret taking advantage of her nature. I've done that once, and no matter how many times I tell myself that I won't do it anymore, I get greedy and do it again.

This time around the mistake was mine, so the consequences to bear are mine as well.

Does it make me feel uncomfortable?

So much. Not talking to her makes me feel alone and unheard.

But I'm not shameless so as to keep abusing the emotional power I've on her. She deserves the space after what I revealed to her this morning. In her words, I did it so casually that I put no meaning to it. She was right. I've made a big life decision without even asking for her opinion. Agreed, I had made the decision when she was not a part of my life, but when she became, was it not my responsibility to let her know about it?

If I was in her place, how would have I felt?

Hurt. Extremely hurt.

After all, your partner has the right to know what plans you have for yourself in the future, for they are the ones affected greatly by it.

If we have the power to impact someone else's life because of our decisions, shouldn't we be a little bit considerate and respectful of their feelings? I've always felt having the chance to bring a difference in someone's life is rare, then why do I keep blowing them off? Why do I keep thinking about only myself while disregarding what she might feel?

I was selfish.

So her silence is something I deserve.

And this time, I was determined to keep my silence against it.

She had not been talking to me since this morning. I didn't act up or throw a fit. She called me immature, she was right, but I didn't want to prove it again. I didn't want her to regret marrying me, even though I've given her a lot of incidences to feel the same.

I was on the balcony when Bhai joined me, holding a cup of coffee towards me.

I sighed aloud, not having the mental will to get into another verbal argument with him. He is in that phase again where he feels guilty. I didn't want to fall for it, despite my heart going out to him every time he looks at me with hurt. I think I'm pathetic. I still long for the people who have no regard for me in their minds, yet I hurt the one whose world revolves around me.

I think it's a human tendency. To covet what you don't have, while failing to notice the worth of what you already do.

Wasn't I the one longing for a partner to get rid of my loneliness? Yet here I'm, after disappointing the one who chose me over everyone else, feeling pity for the one she didn't.

He sighed and put the other cup on the surface of the banister, leaning with his arms resting on it beside me. "I've talked to mom. I'm moving out next week. You won't see me home when you come back from your honeymoon."