Sweet 'n' Sour | ✔

forty-five

45. Dar tha, dhoka nahi (it was my fear, not a betrayal)

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This is not how I wanted her to find it out. To be honest, I never wanted her to find it out. As selfish as the thought is, I wanted him to keep it a secret forever. I never wanted her to know about his feelings for her, for they corner mine in a box of insecurities. But now she knows, and not in a nice way. If she heard the whole thing, she also heard the way he said it, and that, that hurts me the most. He said it like she was an inconvenience now that he can't have her, as though it was her fault he fell in love with her.

I pressed the elevator button relentlessly, swearing under my breath because it was taking too long to come down. I dumped the idea of taking an elevator and instead opted for the stairs.

"Adi, don't rush! It's seven floors!" Bhai shouted after me.

I paid no heed to his words, desperate to get back to her so I can explain myself. I'm sure she feels betrayed and lied to. Hearing the footsteps behind, I glanced over my shoulder, spotting Bhai follow me just as quickly.

"Adi, you'll need an inhaler!" He snapped.

It was all his fault.

All his and that good-for-nothing friend of his!

I wanted to cry so fucking bad. Wiping the tears that fell with the end of my sleeves, I huffed out a long breath. My footsteps slowed after the fourth floor and he caught up to me immediately.

"Adi!" He grabbed my arm when I bent over my knees.

I shoved him off. "Don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry!" He panted harshly, tears brimming his eyes. "It's all my fault."

I scoffed, forcing myself to climb the stairs. He followed me quietly.

"I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry." He whispered through rugged breaths.

"Shut up!"

"Tell her it's all my fault. Throw the blame on me." He tried to hold my shoulder.

"Just shut up!" I glared at him.

He flinched back slightly.

"What am I gonna say to her now!?" I hissed, resting against the handrail in defeat. "I knew everything and I didn't tell her,"

"It's okay. It was my place to tell her, not yours. You gave me a chance, didn't you? I blew it off. I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you tell her then!?" I growled at him. "Why didn't you tell her!?" I shoved him on the shoulder.

He stumbled back, leaning with a thud against the wall. "Tha- That night when I went to speak with her, we talked about work for a while. Then I asked her a question," he sniffed, falling quiet as a resident from the ascending floor appeared, watching us with a frown as he walked off. "What if you had met my brother when we were in touch with each other after the deal?"

"You were in touch with her after the two years?"

He nodded, "for another two and half years. We didn't meet much, but I used to give her a call once a month. Just to check up on her business, and well, know how she is doing." He shrugged, licking his lower gums.

"What was her answer?"

He bit the inside of his cheek, sniffling harder as his eyes teared up once again. "That maybe she would have gotten married earlier." He whispered. "She said it like she meant it as a joke, but there was an undeniable glow on her face. I never saw it before, never at the sight of me. It was for you." His lips trembled, tears falling heedless. "I knew there was no point telling her. She would reject us both. No woman would want to become the reason for the rift between two brothers. And I- And I was selfish, Adi," he looked up at me guiltily. "I wanted her around." He broke down in sobs, covering his face with his hands.