Skanky Men

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Originally published on April 30, 2022

Scarlett: We're gonna take pictures in front of this Hollywood sign.

Crissy: I look ugly.

Scarlett: YOU LOOK SO PRETTY CRISSY! My God you are my wife you are stunning and the most beautiful woman in the world well, besides me.

Crissy: Thank you Scarlett.

Scarlett: (Kisses Crissy and grabs her crotch)

Old lady: (Takes picture of Scarlett and Crissy)

Scarlett: HEY!!

Crissy: Delete that picture!!!

Old lady: I'm gonna expose your ass for the stuckup slut you are!! (Smiles evilly) Scar!!

Scarlett: AH!!!! (Back flips off the mountain and tackles the lady to a six feet fall onto the ground)

Old lady: Oh!! Get off me you crazy bitch!!!

Scarlett: If you don't delete that pic of my wife I'm gonna cram this camera down your fat ugly throat!!!

Crissy: Tear her up Scarlett!

Atriel: Hey I'm Atriel.

Samuel: I'm Samuel Ash Rodriguez.

Atriel: Hey. I really think you're hot. I was thinking maybe we could have sex or something.

Samuel: Oh. Uh.. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but I'm straight. I just like your clothes.
We can be friends though.

Atriel: I really want you!!! (Grabs Samuels arm)

Samuel: Hey! Get off me mennn!!!

Scarlett: (Smacks the old woman in the face)

Old lady: This is elder abuse!!

Scarlett: And when my children see me clobber your ass it's gonna be child abuse!! (Punches the old woman) (Looks up and sees camera) Shit!

Atriel: Give me your hair then!!

Samuel: Get off of me or I'm gonna call the cops!! I have a wife and three kids!!

Atriel: (Pushes Sam up against the back of a house)

Samuel: W-What are you a-about to do?

Atriel: Just give me one taste! I need it. I've been alone my whole life!! (Pulls down Samuels pants)

Old man: What the hell??!!!!

Old lady: This stupid old witch is hurting me!!

Scarlett: Oh stop the act Judy Bloom!

Samuel: I'ma report you to the police. You have no right to give me a blowjob. Especially not here. Oh!! In the middle of the street.

Atriel: Nobody will ever believe you.

Samuel: I think they will. Fuck! Why are you this desperate?

Atriel: I just like dick!!

Samuel: What is it about me?

Atriel: (Gags) Is that old spice cologne?

Samuel: Y-yeah. I just bought it.

Atriel: (Stands up) (Kisses Samuel)

Samuel: What the fuck?!!

Atriel: If you're not gay why did you let me do this?

Samuel: I didn't have a choice.

Atriel: (Looks down and sees picture of Samuel kissing another man) You've been lying this whole time. You are gay.

Samuel: Listen. That man across the street is homophobic. He told me he'd shoot me if I ever became gay. So I married a woman and had a guy shoot sperm into her. She had three kids.

Atriel: Unacceptable. Where is she?

Samuel: She left four years ago and hasn't returned.

Atriel: Wow.

Samuel: Please leave. (Pulls his pants half way up)

Crissy: Scarlett. Come back up here.

Scarlett: (Turns around) Where's your friends?

Liv: LOOK OUT!!! (Jumps behind Scarlett in front of a masked man and gets hit with a candlestick)

Crissy: DIV!!!!

Atriel: I'm gonna take you and buy you new clothes and give you a new house. I'm gonna help you.

Samuel: Bro. I really like you but I'm scared. Running away is pussy. I've gotta face him.

Atriel: Listen to me. You are beautiful. You being gay is a blessing. You can't let him control you. It's okay to be scared. I would be too, but I covered up my sexuality once too and it only makes you miserable. I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. I am amazing and you are amazing and every lesbian, trans, gay, pan, non-binary, and lgtbtq person out there should love themselves because they are worth it too. I'm not gonna just stand by and watch you-

Samuel : (Kisses Atriel) Let's get out of here bro.

Cop: Do you know what happened here?

Crissy: A man literally whacked my friend over the head and was aiming for my wife!!

Scarlett: I didn't see a man. I'll tell you what to do get a woman officer on this job. I am so fucking sick of all these skanky men!! Crissy. Call my squad!!

Crissy: (Widens her eyes)















To be continued

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