I Always Imagined You As My Girlfriend

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Dana: (Smiles)

Aubrey: Who are you?

Dana: My name is Dana.

Aubrey: You!

Dana: I always imagined you as my girlfriend?
Now you're gonna be that. You were my first crush. When I couldn't get Scarlett to love me I wanted to go for you.

Aubrey: You're out of your fucking mind if you think I'd ever love a starving psychotic hoe like yourself!

Dana: Kiss me or die!!!

Aubrey: (Grabs gun from Dana and aims it at her)
You don't wanna mess with me! I heard you hurt Crissy and I'm gonna blow your motherfucking brains out if you ever touch her or Scarlett again.

Dana: How did you know I was one of the people that shot Scarlett?

Aubrey: I didn't until you just told me.

Dana: You tricked me.

Aubrey: Yep. (Shoots Dana in the head)

Dana: (Falls to the ground) (Bleeding)

Aubrey: (Licks the gun) Walks away iconically)

Scarlett: I'm ready to go home.

Lizzie: Aubrey.

Aubrey: It's time to go home honey.

Lizzie: I feel much better.

Aubrey: I'm so glad. You know we'll be besties forever.

Lizzie: Thank you.

Crissy: Rest In Peace...mommy!! (Cries)

                       2 weeks later

Scarlett: I'm glad to be back in my house with my beautiful wife.

Crissy: I'm glad to have you back here. Not everyone can say they have survived three gunshots.

Scarlett: And Cancer. By the way my chemo is going well. The doctor says I'll be free of cancer in a few months.

Crissy: That's good.

Lizzie: My abdominal bleeding has stopped.

Aubrey: That's also good.

(Phone rings)

Lizzie: (Picks up the phone) Yes. This is Miss Elizabeth Kitty.

Crissy: (Opens her mouth wide)

Lizzie: I'd love to go on a runway show as a half naked cat. Yes I'll be on my way to Vegas as we speak. Yes I'll make sure to bring Scar!

Scarlett: (Opens her mouth wide) No! I will not go to Vegas with you to be a whorish kitten.

Lizzie: Come on!!

Scarlett: No! I have cancer  and I'm staying here.

Aubrey: I'll be a cat with you.

Lizzie: I don't know if you could catch on.

Aubrey: They call me Aubrey for a reason..

Lizzie: (In a black furry shirt and panties with a cat mask and whiskers on her face) (Crawling on the runway) I'm a bad..bad..kitty..with a bad reputation...my wife left me naughty..and I'm a bad motherfucker!! Purr!! (Throws out her leg) Meow! Meow! (Grins) (Puts her hand up)

Aubrey: I'm a bad motherfucker..two bucks on the aisle ima show aaasssssss!!!!! Purr!!! (Throws her leg back)

People: (Clap and cheer)

Scarlett: Unbelievable. The minute I get Aubrey back she runs off with Lizzie to Vegas. I don't think they are coming back Crissy.

Crissy: It's sad. Lizzie is one of my best friends.

Scarlett: Mine too.

Aubrey: I'm a bad motherfucker.. oh oowoooohh!! (Claws the runway) Purr!! Come get some of thiiiisssss!!!!! (Throws her leg back)

Lizzie: (Kisses Aubrey as they roll around on the floor)

Scarlett: Where's Rachel?

Crissy: I don't know.

Florence: She left.

Scarlett: Are you kidding me.

Florence: She said she never cared about you so she wanted to leave before she stole your spotlight.

Scarlett: Wow! Hate that bitch!

Florence: It's okay. (Takes her shirt and bra and panties off) I may not be on an aisle but ima show my ass tonight baby!

Crissy: Shall we Scarlett.

Scarlett: We shall Crissy! (Fingers Florence)

Florence: (Fingers Scarlett)

Crissy: (Sucks Scarlett and Florence's tits)

Florence: (Moans as she kisses Scarlett)

Scarlett: (Moans in Florence's lips)

Crissy: (Grinds up against Scarlett)

Scarlett: (Moans) (Falls to her knees)

Crissy: Scar!

Scarlett: (Gasps) (Passes out)

Crissy: SCAR!!!





Originally Published July 2nd, 2022

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