Random Crap that isn't art

WN #23

I FINALLY REWROTE THE BEGINNING OF CHAPTER 9
Changes:
1. I changed the perspective
2. Word Choice
3. I got more descriptive
4. I expanded the moment, putting more thought into what was happening
Anyways I love the rewrite and this will go into the future rewrite :3

Btw if I ever rewrite something, I won't get rid of the original. The rewritten chapter would probably pop up above it as...
Ex: Chapter 9- Sleep.. drinker? [Rewritten]
Or..
[RW] Chapter 9- Sleep.. drinker?

Original:

He was just about to get relaxed under the covers when a creaking sound was heard from the doorway. Another sound, which sounded like a door handle squeaking, followed. Upon hearing these noises, he shut his eyes as fast as he could out of fear. The room was dark, but yet there was somehow still light in the corners. It was almost as if he was living in an old, drawn, beat up photo. He then saw two maroon dots sitting in the shadows, barely moving and disappearing every couple seconds. He started to panic and tried to move. He couldn't. He tried to open his eyes again, but couldn't. That's when he noticed how he was seeing through his eyelids. He then tried to scream, but couldn't. It was almost as if his whole body was paralyzed. The dots then became lines, and started coming towards him. A silhouette then formed as they started to get closer. It was a person, but it looked deformed. Its fingers were as sharp as a shark's teeth, it's skin was an unnatural olive color, (light earls green, yes I needed to look that up) and the most noticeable thing was that it had weird extensions sprouting from its back and shoulders. It walked until it was looming over him, looking at him menacingly. He could also tell it had a spark of malice and insanity in its eyes. The entity then picked him up out of his bed, wrapped him in what felt and seemed to be tentacles, and said in a low, booming voice,

"Let me help resume your eternal sleep."

The creature was about to pierce through this head, but everything went black before that. That's when Meme woke up. He shot up and looked around. It was just the room he was staying in. He looked down at himself after. He was drenched in sweat, and was shaking. He also noticed how quick and heavily he was breathing. He muttered to himself,

"Holy crap.. That was one heck of a nightmare..."

Meme then got up, got ready, and went to face the day that laid ahead.

Rewrite:
I was just about to get relaxed and settled under the thick, warm, aqua-blue comforter of my bed. I turned to my right, the position I usually take to enter the world of sleep. A few minutes went by, with my conscious mind slowly ticking away from reality. The black that covered my eyes parted horizontally as I was jolted awake, figuratively and literally, by a creaking sound. It sounded like pressure on wooden floorboards that came from the doorway. Another sound, which sounded similar, followed. Instead of floor boards creaking, it sounded like a door handle screeching against the ring of brass holding it in place.

I shut my eyes in an instant as a useless attempt to block out the terror and thrill of it. Everyone else was asleep, so I wasn't sure who or what it was. The surroundings of my room were dark, yet, there was light illuminating the corners. It felt like I was living in an ancient, inked, beat-up photo, splotches of light and dark covering my sideways field of vision. Out of the darkness, at the foot of my bed, appeared two maroon dots sitting in the shadows, keeping still and flashing away every few moments. I panicked, and tried to jump up defensively, but I oddly couldn't. I attempted to open my eyes again, but instead I noticed how I was watching the entire scene through my eyelids. I wanted to scream, but I felt my voice die in my chest. It seemed like my whole body was paralyzed.

It all has to be some kind of nightmare.. this can't be real..

The red, glowing dots, still cowering in the shadows, then became lines. They got proportionally bigger over time, the glow becoming brighter and brighter, a red tint washing the room in blood-red. A silhouette formed from the darkness as the two lines, which now looked to be pupils, got closer.

The figure was revealed to be a person, but it looked deformed. Unnatural. I looked towards the creature, though I never physically moved. Its fingers were as sharp as a shark's teeth, with its skin being a revolting olive green color. Sprouting from its back, limbs that seemed to be tentacles gracefully weaved through the air, occasionally crashing into each other, or even tangling and wrapping around each other. The thing walked until it was looming over me. It had a spark of malice and insanity in its eyes, seeming psychopathic and menacing. From the red, eerie light in its mouth, I could tell that it had rows of sharp knives for teeth, capable of ripping flesh right off a body. It had a crooked, deranged smile spread its face, one that you could only see in movies or in cartoon shows.

The entity rose one of its many tentacles above me, slowly creeping it around my chest twice as it squeezed me enough to get a good grip. The pure blue and white dyes of my bed were now stained with a dull, dark, black streaks and smears where the tentacle came in contact with. I was lifted up and over the side of my bed, now facing the creature head on. Two more blood red, hollow circles appeared above the red, slit-pupils, which somehow made it even more terrifying than it already was. I still couldn't move. I was still as frozen as dry ice in Antarctica at -1000 degrees. I was startled by a sudden voice. The voice boomed out in-front of me,

"Let me help you resume your eternal rest.."

It chuckled, loud and deep enough that I felt my organs vibrate and dark enough to send shivers down my spine. I felt so disturbed and afraid I thought I was going to puke, not to mention the fact I was being squeezed so much I felt my ribs being constricted and pushed inward. It raised another tentacle above its head, facing it towards me ready to pierce through my skull, brain and out the other side. The snake lounged towards my forehead, and that's when daylight struck my eyes.

I woke up. I checked the clock and it was 7:45 a.m. on the dot. Out the window to my right was nothing but trees as far as the eye could see. Sunlight shone though the blinds that spread over the glass, dancing over the floor, desk, and bed like ballerinas. I looked at myself, and my palms were visibly sweating and shaking from fear. I tentatively sat up and walked out of bed, stretched and yawned. I walked to the opposite side of my room, groggily opening the blinds so that my bedroom was now flooded with the vibrant, bright colors of furniture. I looked around steadily once I got my eyes adjusted to the light, and finally spoke to myself.

"Holy crap... that was one heck of a nightmare.. that was one trip to hell I don't want to go back down.."