BOY IN LOVE || JH

EIGHT

HOSEOK'S POV

"You guys kissed?!" Namjoon asks with wide eyes after I tell him what happened with y/n.

I had to FaceTime him because knew he'd kill me if something like this happened and I didn't tell him face to face.

"Yeah but-" but Namjoon cut me off instantly.

"But nothing! Does she know that was your first kiss?!"

My eyes widened as I shushed him. "Keep it down would you!" I say, afraid someone would hear.

"You did tell her, didn't you?" Namjoon asks and I shake my head, feeling ashamed for lying.

"No, I didn't." I sigh. "I told her I've kissed people before but I only said that so she wouldn't think I was some loser who's still a virgin and hasn't kissed anyone." Namjoon is silent for a moment before he lets out a breath.

"So what now? She thinks it was nothing but it's definitely something. You're not catching feelings are you?" He asks and I sigh yet again.

"No I don't think so. I don't know...This definitely isn't something I'm use to. She's so pretty and outgoing and I'm so...not. She wouldn't like someone like me and definitely not now that I lied to her." I felt horrible.

"Maybe just talk to her and clear it up. I'm sure she'll understand." Namjoon says from over the phone camera.

"Or she'll be disgusted by me and won't want to be my friend anymore. I don't want that." I say and Namjoon shrugs.

"I don't know what else to say. I'm just surprised you actually kissed someone. I've been trying to get you to do that for so long and you always claimed you wanted to wait for when you were with someone that felt right."

I mentally sighed at Namjoon's words because even now, they were true.

I had wanted to wait to have my first kiss with someone who made me feel comfortable and just safe I guess. Y/n was exactly that.

I know we're just friends but when I'm around her it just feels so natural. I guess I just got too lost in that and said and did things without thinking.

Now I have no idea how to come back from that...especially knowing everything that happened with her and Joshua she was sure to be upset with me.

"I have to tell her I just don't know when." I say and Namjoon smiles. "Well when you do you better tell me what happens!"

"I will, I have to go now though. I just wanted to let you know." I say and we say our goodbyes before we hang up.

I sigh as I set my phone down before I look around to make sure no one had heard the call.

Right away I knew Namjoon was right. I had to tell her or else I would just feel completely horrible about it.

I lied because I didn't want to seem like a loser to her but for what reason? Why would she care if I hadn't kissed anyone? We're just friends she said it herself.

Sighing, I make my way inside where I see everyone sitting around in the living room talking.

Tonight was the last night here and it was currently 9:40pm so everyone was just chilling.

As soon as y/n spotted me she waved me over. Sucking in a breath, I make my way over to her and sit down.

"Where did you go? Why did you run off like that?" She laughs, not seeming to be upset with me at least so that was good.

I didn't know how to respond. What would I even say? Yeah I ran off to tell my friend about how you were my first kiss yet you don't know that because I lied and said it wasn't. I couldn't do that.

Sensing I didn't know how to answer, y/n said, " All of us were thinking about just keeping it chill and watching a movie tonight. You know, since last night was a little too crazy." Y/n laughs and I nod as I sink back into the couch. I was more then glad that she had changed the subject.

I knew I had to tell her but if I didn't have to right this moment, that was okay with me.

As the movie played, I could see Ari and Mingyu getting cozy on the couch and Joshua who kept glancing over at y/n every so often.

I couldn't help but wonder if he actually liked her or if he just enjoyed messing with her.

Either way, I found it annoying. Knowing what I did I didn't like the guy at all.

Shaking my head, I turn my eyes back to the movie, trying to pay attention. From my peripheral vision, I could see y/n smiling and laughing at the movie, thus distracting me once more.

Right away I felt a twinge of guilt. I shouldn't have lied about the kiss thing and I felt really bad. It's just that with y/n I felt so accepted for who I was and she was just so kind and not to mention gorgeous. Before I knew it I was lying about having kissed people when I knew it wasn't true. I felt awful.

I'm going to tell her but I'll just wait until we get back home and I can sit down with her alone.

For now, I just needed to sort through whatever the hell was going through my mind currently.

I really enjoyed kissing y/n and I love being around her. We're great friends and I know that's all she sees me as but I don't know...I can't help but to like her as more then a friend.

I know I haven't known her all that long but she was just one of those people you instantly felt comfortable with. I liked that part of her a lot and I was starting to think that wasn't the only thing I liked about her...

Knowing that now,

Things were about to get a whole lot more complicated.