The Outsiders Imagines

Exhausted

Man, I need a break from life. School is draining me and Darry is putting me and Pony under a lot more pressure. Plus the socs have been way more ruthless lately - I've had to run more in the last week than I have in my whole life.

I've been hanging out in the lot with Johnny a lot to blow off some steam. Today is no different - though it's already getting pretty dark. As I walk up to the lot, Johnny is already sat there waiting for me.

"Hey, Johnny."

"Hey, Y/N. You alright?"

"I'm exhausted." I sigh as I sit beside him.

"Me too. My old man's been hittin' me again. At least it means he knows I'm there." He shrugs.

"Johnny, that ain't a good thing. You sleep out here because they don't care or notice. One of these days, you're gonna freeze to death. You should stay at my house. I'm sure Darry and Soda won't mind - plus Pony would love to have you over."

"I don't wanna bother y'all."

"You could never bother us, Johnnycake." I assure him as I rest my head on his shoulder. "We love you - couldn't get along without you."

"Thanks, Y/N. I appreciate havin' you and the gang around."

Johnny then tells me about how he's failing English class. He just can't get it. He ain't stupid, he's just a little slower. Luckily, he's doing poetry. I tell him to talk to Pony about it. He initially hesitates, but I say I'll ask Pony for him. With that out of the way, it's my time to vent.

"Man, I hate chemistry and my teacher. When am I gonna use this crap? I flunked on the test we did last week. Darry lost his mind when he found out. I tried my best, Johnny. Really, I tried. I'm doin' alright with some other stuff, but it's like none of that matters. School is draining enough without Darry adding so much pressure on me. Plus socs won't leave me alone. Yesterday, I ran so far I almost stopped breathin'. I don't know how Pony does it. I'm covered in bruises because of 'em." I rant as we lean on each other.

"It'll be alright. You're a smart kid. Plus you can hold your own against them socs."

"It's Darry I got no hope with."

We continue to talk for a little bit before I feel my eyes beginning to shut. When my eyes begin to open again, I instantly turn my head and bury my face in Johnny's jacket and groan due to the bright sunlight. Then I realise how bright it is and spring up in a panic.

"Johnny! Johnny, wake up!" I shake him, causing him to jolt awake.

"I'm up, I'm up! What's wrong?"

"We spent the night in the lot! Darry's gonna kill me!"

"Shoot. He might be at work by now though." He reasons.

"Maybe. Good point. I gotta go. I'll see ya later - if I'm still alive."

"Good luck."

I run back home faster than I ever thought I could. I burst through the gate and freeze. What if someone's home? What am I supposed to do? I look through the window to see Ponyboy pacing around the room. Soda is sprawled out on the couch. Oh, man, Darry's in his chair beside the phone. Should I run? Should I just go back to the lot? I'm sure Johnny wouldn't judge me. No. That's only gonna make it worse. I have to do this.

Hesitantly, I open the door. They all look up at me. Before anything can be said - and as I barely get my feet through the door - Pony charges towards me and throws his arms around me. I reciprocate the tight hug. It's the extremely brief calm before the storm.

"Where the hell have you been? It's 8am! You never came home!" Darry screams in my face.

"Where'd you go, Y/N?" Soda asks quietly with scared eyes.

"Sorry, I fell asleep in the lot with Johnny." I apologise as I walk further into the room towards Soda.

"You did what?" Darry keeps his volume high.

"I didn't mean to. We were just letting off some steam and fell asleep."

"Is Johnny alright?" Pony asks to try and calm the situation.

"Not much different to usual."

"Stay out of this, Ponyboy!" Darry shouts at him - he slowly walks over to Sodapop, who is fighting the urge to step in. "You know how irresponsible you are? I couldn't even call the cops because they'd put you in some home and take your brothers away so fast it'd make your head spin!"

"Hey, I said I didn't mean to! Besides, I wouldn't have to vent to Johnny if it weren't for you!" I retaliate.

"You're blaming me? You can't pin your problems on me! God, Y/N, you're so ungrateful!" He yells and takes a step closer.

That's it, I've had it. I take a step back and prepare to blow up this screaming match. Johnny is probably gonna hear me from the lot.

"It's not my fault I've been exhausted lately with school and runnin' from socs and dealin' with the crushing pressure you keep puttin' on me! And I bet Steve and Two-Bit didn't mention how I saved their asses a couple nights ago!"

"What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"You saved Steve and Two-Bit?" Soda questions.

"Yeah! The idiots were drunk outta their minds and about to be killed, but I took Two-Bit's blade from his pocket and chased 'em off!"

"That doesn't change the fact that you didn't come home last night!" He refuses to back down as he takes yet another step towards me.

"Look, it was an accident, alright? And don't even think about hitting me, Darrel Curtis, because I'll run right out that door and I promise you I won't come back!" I scream with tears forming and spilling rapidly, almost hyperventilating.

All of them are taken back by my comments. Finally, Darry takes a step back. His face turns white - jaw dropped as he stares into my angry, scared and desperate eyes. His regret and fear are evident on his face as he thinks back to when Pony ran away.

"Y/N..." He says lowly as I stand before him sobbing.

"Can't you see I'm tryin'? All I ever wanted was to make you proud, but all I do is disappoint you. I just want my Darry back." I cry as my voice cracks with each shaky breath - frozen in place.

We used to be so close - almost inseparable. He would always protect me because I'm his kid sister. We were like how Pony and Soda are. Since mom and dad died, everything's changed. As much as Pony and Soda try, it still feels like I don't have anyone anymore. Now you wouldn't think Darry could ever be close to someone, especially like Pony And Soda. But we were. Once. Way back when.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." He stumbles over his words as he rushes to wrap his arms around me. "I was so scared. I thought we'd lost you like mom and dad. You're the closest thing we have to mom anymore. When you didn't come back, I thought somethin' bad happened. There's been too many close calls and I can't lose you. Not my baby sister. I love you Y/N, I swear." He cries, pleading for me to believe him.

"I love you too, Darry."

Soon enough, Pony and Soda join us in the group hug - all crying. Despite everything that's happened, we couldn't get along without each other. Eventually, Darry pulls away and makes a promise.

"We'll figure this out, Y/N. I promise. We ain't gonna fight no more."

I don't know how long it's gonna last. All I care about is that, even for a moment, the old Darry is back.