𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃

chapter 19

it had a been a few days , ashtray was back to normal , he was feeling fine now.

and brielle was back to her normal self , putting me
last. i honestly thought that was changing , since before we had been hanging out quite a lot , but of course i was wrong.

i missed rue , i haven't seen her in awhile. she's been hanging out with jules , which is nice for her , she's spending time with her girlfriend , but it leaves me stuck with ashtray.

not that , that's a bad thing. i actually kinda like it , it's just they're my only two friends , since i don't really think of ashtray as a friend...

but like always , i have to get over it.

i felt like i was easy though , the way no matter how many times brielle put me last , i let her. so lately i've been avoiding her , trying to treat her like she does me , but it doesn't work. i feel bad. maybe that's the difference between her and i.

i was making my way to my next class , dragging my way there. when i saw lexi at her locker.

it took everything in me , but i went up to her.

"hey lexi." i smiled.

"oh , hey mariana." she gave me her welcoming smile , lexis always so nice.

i've only talked to her a couple times , but every time she's so nice to me.

"what are you doing ?" i asked , even thought it was obvious.

"putting these in my locker." she said , letting out a breathy laugh , pointing to the notebooks she had in her hands.

i nodded , not knowing how to keep the conversation going.

"how are you ?" she asked me , closing her locker and looking at me.

"i'm okay. you ?" my answer every time someone asked that was "okay" because that's all i was , just okay.

"i'm okay too.." she answered , looking like she didn't know how to jew the conversation going either.

i just wanted to talk to her for a bit , but since i'm so awkward it didn't go well.
"well.. i'll see you later."

she nodded , "yeah. text me."

i had gotten her number through rue , somehow that came about. "okay."

maybe i could start hanging out with her , even if she's a junior.. i hangout with rue.

i sat down in my class , brielle was in this class too.

some of brielles friends looked at each other , before looking at me and then back at each other.

i squinted my eyes , trying to think of what they could be talking about , were they talking about me ?
brielles right there..

-

"do you think they were talking about me ?"

i had ranted to ashtray about what happened at school , and was asking for his opinion.

he squinted his eyes , "yes. you dumbass."

i scoffed , "but why would they ? i mean brielle was there.. and were close.."

i was definitely in denial.

he shook his head , "you might think so , but from what you've told me she seems like she don't care about you very much."