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mariana told ashtray how she felt , finally.
so whatever happens now , doesn't really matter. she likes him , he likes her. and they're both aware of it now.
fezco knew that the two liked each other , but he wasn't completely with the whole thing. he felt it was kinda weird , how mariana still liked ashtray. but he wouldn't ever say anything , his brothers happy.. so if that means with mar then it's whatever. it's not his business.
but it in a way fezco felt bad for the girl , what if she was just in some kind of denial ? he just didn't want either of the kids getting hurt.
and mariana ? it's obvious she feels guilty , and like she's betraying her dad. but who's seriously gonna stop her ? her dads gone. and she's happy with ashtray , even knowing about what he did. that should say something right ? for her it does.
wether it's love , or it's just major feelings.
it's something.
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mariana:
he likes me. ashtray likes me.
i would be lying if i said i wasn't so happy in that moment, the moment he told me he liked me too.
ashtray being himself , was straight forward though. he didn't seem to be nervous at all , telling me.
my dad was still a thing in my mind , but i can dent the feelings i have for ashtray.
i couldn't hold that against him forever either , i would say it's just one of those things i'll have to get over , which is true.. but maybe it isn't something i should say for this.
things happen for a reason right ? maybe this is just one of thoes things.
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"what , so you like her ?"
i had been taking to fez for a good 10-20 minutes , at some point lexi came into the conversation.
"hey , ion know man." but his smile said otherwise.
"you do ! aw." i teased him.
"what about you and ash , hm ?" he put the attention on me.
"what about me and him ?" i acted clueless , i didn't think it was obvious me and ashtray were feeling each other , but maybe it is.
"y'all datin now or somethin ?" he smirked at me , knowing something was going on between me and his little brother.
"no.." we weren't any think actually , we just knew about our feelings for each other. that's all i need , honestly.
"mhm. i know yo ass crushin on him though." he chuckled.
"yeah , like you're crushing on lexi ?" i chuckled too.
he smiled , rolling his eyes and taking a drag off the blunt he had.
"she even came to visit you at the store." i teased , laughing a bit when he shook his head.
"alright , man." he laughed out.
that was the end of the conversation , after that there was a long comfortable silence as me and fez watched tv together.
i was glad i could have this relationship with fez , since before i thought i wasn't gonna have any sort of relationship with him or ashtray.
i wanted to ask fez his opinion on me and his brother dating , but i didn't know if it was the right thing to ask. because fez knew about the whole ashtray and my dad thing obviously , i didn't want to ask him and him give me and honest answer , due to that whole fact of it could be bad , i didn't want to overthink about it anymore.
so maybe i'll wait , and re-word the question differently for my sake.
soon , faye joined me and fez on the couch , and later ashtray too.
in this moment i felt at peace , at home. even if before i was calling this "just a place i was staying at for while" , now i call it home.
it feels like home in some way , i don't know. i was used to it now , the sleeping in ashtrays room , sitting on the couch watching tv with faye , fezco and sometimes ashtray , it all made it a home.
i turned to ashtray , sitting not far from him since he sat closest to me , fezco on the other side of me.
i was glad through everything i still liked him , he isn't all that bad.. like he makes it out to seem.
he can be funny , sometimes nice but that's rare.
but overall i guess i just like him. no matter if it's his personality or his looks , just him in general.
and my minds at peace with that now.
but i think the worse part is , i trust him. with everything in me i trust him.
maybe that isn't bad , and anyone who doesn't know what he did to my dad , hearing me say trusting him is bad , would think i'm stupid.
so to put myself at ease , im going to believe it's not.
AUTHORS NOTES.
shot chapter cause i have no ideas 😓
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