Chapter 4 x
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Gloss's POV
It's the night before the Games, so of course I've been drinking heavily. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some complete alcoholic like Haymitch from District 12, but I suppose everyone wants to shut out the pain in some way or another. I experiment. I've tried drugs, women, cutting, booze. None of it seems to work for me. I'm left with this hollow feeling inside me, like there's a void I need to fill. It's either being shocked to the core by what's to come, or being numb. It looks like those are my two options.
If you asked me what I was drinking, I wouldn't be able to tell you. It's the Capitol's finest wine no doubt, but it tastes bitter on my tongue. Nonetheless, I have more, and more, like it can fill the hole the Games have created inside me. Someone touches my arm and I whirl immediately, before relaxing as Cashmere silently sits beside me. She's been focused on getting Glimmer and Marvel through the interviews, and I feel a surge of guilt.
I'm acting as though I'm the broken one, damaged beyond repair, but that's not my role to play. The Games might have destroyed me, but at least it stopped there. For Cashmere, things only continued. A letter that smelled like roses. Long nights with strange men. A shame and a hurt that I couldn't even begin to comprehend. It's only when I remember Cashmere's pain, a pain she still suffered, that I force myself out of my shell. For her sake. I sling an arm around her shoulder and she leans her head on my shoulder, a soft breath escaping her.
"The Games are tomorrow." It's something that we both know, but in Cashmere's normally confident voice I can hear a hitch. There's more. "I have to go out tonight."
I tense, my hands balling into fists of rage. It hurts me as well, knowing what the Capitol subjects my sister too. It hurts that I can't say the right words to stop her crying into the dawn, that I can't understand. I've always felt that it was my role to be the protective role, but in truth, she's playing her role as the big sister and protecting me. It's something that makes me mad, to know the sacrifices she makes for our tributes.
"Don't go," I tell her firmly.
Cashmere sighs. "Glimmer and Marvel need sponsors, Gloss."
I know that. I know my words fall on deaf ears, but it's always worth a try. I dream that one day she'll ruffle my hair and agree, but in my heart, I know it'll never happen. It's been a long since we've been the playful brother and sister. I did this to us. I volunteered and caused her this pain, the pain that soon became my own. There's no point trying to deny the blame. What's the point in pretending anything?
"Please don't go."
Cashmere turns her face. She doesn't like it when I plead with her. I swill the wine in my glass and tilt back my head, swallowing the rest of it. It's dry and sour down my throat, a burning liquid fire. I want to cry at what my sister endures. It seems she's destined to be the stronger one while I'm the shadow, the unbalanced one. I don't even know if I have the strength to cry. Fuck, I'm a wreck.
"Glimmer and Marvel did really well in their interviews." She deliberately changes the subject, and I don't change it back. I don't want to make this harder than it already is.
"District 12 did better," I mutter, but I'm not angry. I remember how the girl spun and her dress lit on fire, how the sappy boy declared his love for her. Love? He doesn't know the meaning of the word. I don't know the meaning of the word. What is love, really? How do you know when you're in it, when you're out of it, when your heart breaks when the rest of you is already shattered?
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Strictly Prohibited ➳ THE HUNGER GAMES ✔️
Action[COMPLETED] Storm Asterbury, a young girl from Panem, becomes District 1's new escort. But Storm isn't like any other district escort. She isn't colourful or super-bubbly like your average escort. She's just another human being that has been put in...
