Left out

That night

~talk of sexual assault with a few memories please don't read if triggering~
I hadn't been to the district yet but I knew Hank had told them they were going after him. I stand staring at the steps wondering if I was ready for the twenty questions, the sympathetic looks. "I made sure he got the evidence you made me keep" I spin looking at Trudy. I was momentarily confused "you came in couple weeks ago asking for evidence bags...put a bunch of stuff in them and told me that if your dad or Hank came looking for evidence relating to me give it to them even wrote the date" I nod remembering it. "You going to go up there" "uh yeah" I go to walk but stop at the bottom wondering if I was ready.

I stand up the tip of the stairs. No one had noticed me. Well technically I think they did but I think they were leaving me to collect my thoughts. "Allie" Erin said carefully "hi" I smile "Voight told us" "I know I told him to" "can we hear what happened from you" Antonio asks "oh uh yeah" I nod I knew this was coming "can it be a bit later though I just" "hey take your time your always around" I nod smiling I walk through the bullpen but freezing when my eyes land on the whiteboard. Snap shots of the videos, pictures of him, a picture of me. No doubt my dad or Hank pictured the picture it was one from before a dance concert. "Hey princess don't look at that" dad said his arms wrapping them around me leading me into hanks office. I didn't realise there was tears in my eyes until he spoke. "Breath your safe no one can hurt" dad comforted me I just hold onto him like my life depended on it. I felt someone put a hand on my back, I didn't have to see to know it was Hank.

Erin sat beside me not to close to touch me but close enough I could hug her if I needed it. Hank decided it was probably better having her in her as opposed to Kim given the fact I knew Erin. The break room was deathly quiet. "Everything about that night is horrible from start to finish" I shake my head looking at Erin. Antonio was here to but Erin told him not to speak. I don't think I would care much though. "Start from the beginning than the party" I slowly nod "it was at Shawn's" I had never personally met Shawn but I knew Erin knew where it was she had been there once upon a time. "I uh Toby took me we picked Josh and Elodie on the way...I wasn't going to go Lexi and I were going to go out that night but Lex didn't feel up to it and she heard Elodie talking about it to me she practically forced me to go. I didn't want to leave her" I smile "the party had already started you know Shawn's parties no one knows him or when they start they just end up there" she nods smiling "what was the party like" "uh a normal Shawn party I didn't go to many I was with Josh most of the night and if I wasn't it was Elodie or Toby I was really ever alone" I sigh "until I was he loured me up to his room with the promise of showing me his medals he had seen me dance his sister dances to we were talking about medals and he was going to show me his...I remember hearing his door lock he made a stupid comment about how it was for privacy but something inside me just wouldn't let that go. I appeared fine but I really wasn't. I kept telling myself that I was looking to much into it. Dad had trained me to well that I was recognising dumb things that I don't need to worry about. Then then he threw me on the bed" I take a breath it all came back so quickly his touch, the pain, the lights, the impact, more pain until nothing just blank. "Hey hey your ok we know what happened next" Erin said I don't know if I was talking or if I shut down and blacked out.

His hand grip my hips tightly. I didn't even know how I got into this situation. I was thrown down onto the hard wooden floor sending pain through my body. A pain that made me wonder if I would move again. I felt so frozen. I knew what was going to happen. I hated myself for letting this happen again.

One hand kept me in place I don't know where the other was. His force kept sending me forward with every thrust. I knew there was going to bruises. "Thank you gorgeous" he said sloppily kissing me before slamming my head against the ground.

I stood watching him brag about what he did to me. He had no idea I was here listening. I also don't think he has any concept of what he did and how wrong it was. He didn't get how disgusting I felt. How horrible and dirty I felt. How I locked myself away both times and had to forced out of hibernation. He didn't get the fear that rattled my body at his presence. He got none of it and that made me sick. How can someone be so out of touch with what is around them. "You alright" Kevin asks "what oh uh yeah i don't know" I shake my head sighing "that's ok" he shrugs "you aren't meant to know be awesome if you did and I seriously would want to know your trick but you don't have to" he shrugs I smile happily thankful he didn't want to know the details. Everyone seemed to want to know the details.